Does this algae make me look fat????

I have a lake. Some would call it a pond, but, it is, in fact, a lake. It's my lake. I don't own it, it's not on my property, I can't even see it from my house. That matters not, it is still my lake. I pass it on my way into town. It's surrounded by trees, there are sometimes little ducks or geese floating on my lake. (I don't mind, as long as they clean up after themselves)

I am often struck by the beauty of my lake. When fall arrived and it was ringed with color it was simply breath-taking. I would pass by every Tuesday morning as dawn was cracking, on my way to take two of my boys to school. For some unknown reason they start an hour later once a week and, of course, mom just has to take them! Every week I would point out the beauty of the scene with the sun rising over it. They were unimpressed. What can you expect from half-asleep teenagers. Even still clad in my pjs, with my hair sticking up, my slippers on my feet, and a death grip on my coffee, I was awed each and every time.

Then, one day, the unthinkable happened. It was a dreary morning, no sun in sight and I was rushed, frazzled, hassled and stressed. I passed my lake and, anxious for a little pick-me-up, looked out across the water and said "eeewwww!" What happened to my lake???? All I saw was murky, muddy, nasty water with no beauty in sight. Where was the awe? Where was the little gasp of delight? Where were the ducks, the geese, the little stab of joy?? Who stole my lake and replaced it with this ugliness?!

I pondered this development as I ran my errands that day. On my return trip home, I slowed as I reached the bridge spanning my lake. I starred out over the water, seeing the same murky disappointment I had seen a couple of hours before. Then, my eyes readjusted. There it was! There was the beauty!

You see, I had been looking at the water. Yeah, I know, it is a lake after all, but I realized something. All those times I was met with the splendor of the lake I wasn't actually seeing the lake, I only thought I was. I was seeing what was being reflected by the water. It was the reflection of the sky, the sun, the surrounding trees that held the beauty, not the water itself. It was a gray day and with not much light shinning, it was easy to miss that reflection.

We are just like that lake, we are our own lake. What are we reflecting? Sometimes when you look at me you will see the murkiness of doubt, the muddiness of self-righteousness, the pond scum of vanity. When the temperature drops and the lake ices over the reflection is dimmed then too. When I get cold to the Holy Spirit, His ability to reflect through me is greatly hampered. But when I allow God's warmth to flood me and His light to shine in me I reflect Him and there is great beauty to be found there. It works the other way too. When I look at you, am I concentrating on the water of your faults or am using His eyes to see the reflection of Christ in you?

Who are you reflecting in your life? When your family, your neighbor, the bank teller, the lady in line next to you at the grocery store looks at you, what are they seeing? Are they seeing a living flow of water or do they see a dead, stagnant pool. Are you brimming with life, reflecting the rays of His love or are you devoid of anything living, dried up, used up and empty? Ask Him for a refill of that living water. Better yet, ask Him to make you a bubbling stream of living water that flows to a dry and thirsty world, one that reflects His glory, His grace, His beauty. Every living lake has a source. Make Him your source. Keep that water flowing!

In this new year, I'm asking God for new vision to see Him in those around me. It's hard to lose your temper and yell and fuss at someone when you see Him looking back at you through their eyes. I have to admit, my kids are really hoping for that one! My exhortation to you is to go, reflect!

So, I'll be here, still enjoying my lake, being reminded of this lesson every time I pass it. You won't be able to miss me. I'll be the one checking my mirror for any signs of algae in my teeth!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Reflections.......

I am here

When where I am is caught
between where I was and
where I want to be,
I spin around searching,
for your mercy, your grace,
searching for just a glimpse of your face.

You are here, You are here
at the center of it all.
You hear me when I call,
catch me when I fall,
You are my all in all.

You shine, shine so bright!
Like the rising sun
You chase away the night.
You warm my soul,
turn my skies blue
as I spin, as I dance, free in the light that is You.


The Path

I walk this road God has put before me
and I wonder just where it leads.
The way is rough and full of rocks,
the path is so hard to see.

I stumble along in the dark
reaching out before me
and in an instant you are here.
Your face is all I see.

You reach down and pick me up,
You hold me in your arms.
You soothe my soul and quiet my thoughts,
gone is the need for alarm.

As your love flows down on me
it captures me heart and soul.
Your grace promises acceptance,
unwarranted, undeserving, untold.

So I rest within the rock,
my shelter, my strength, my biggest fan.
I know you love me completely,
as I was, as I will be, just as I am.

Can you have a white Christmas in heaven??

Christmas is past for another year. It was amazingly snowy, something we are certainly not used to seeing in the south, at least not in the Georgia area where we had landed for a good old fashioned extended family Christmas. It seems, however, there is much more snow up in North Carolina where we currently reside. We had about an inch here in Atlanta, but I've heard tell there is 8-10 inches back in NC. I guess the next time I ask God for a white Christmas I should specify which state I'll be in on that date! lol

It's been good being with family again, but I think I am ready to be back home. There's something about sleeping in your own bed and rambling around your own kitchen that is just plain comforting. It doesn't matter how comfy the guest room is, it's just not home.

Can you imagine how Jesus must have felt upon leaving heaven and coming to earth? I'm sure there were times he was comfortable, in comfortable surroundings, in the company of people he loved, taking in the beauty this world can offer in it's natural surrounding. But I have to think there was still a part of him that missed his home.

I think there should be some of that in us, as well. This is not our home. We are citizens of a heavenly country. We live here, for now, but it shouldn't be our home. There should always be a part of us, somewhere inside, that is aware we have a home elsewhere. There is a saying; "fish and houseguest start to smell after 3 days" so you don't want your guest to get too comfortable. We shouldn't get too comfortable here either. Let us keep our focus on our heavenly home, the other kingdom we owe allegiance to. My hope is to be able to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me, enjoy the comforts this temporary home affords, but to never be completely content here, to always have a part down inside that longs for home.

We are headed back to North Carolina tomorrow. It's a long 8 hour drive closed up in a not quite big enough car with many suitcases, 3 teenagers, a 5 year old and a dog with dragon breath. I don't think I'll have a problem getting too content and comfortable there.

If you see a woman running down the middle of the interstate screaming, drooling, babbling incoherently with her hair on fire, you will know my trip home is not going well. Don't intervene, it could get ugly. Just point me to a quiet, dark place where there is no children, no laundry, and leave me be. Eventually my sanity will return and I'll wander on home.

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Call me Clause, Santa Clause

Good morning, yall!

Has anyone noticed it's getting really cold around here? I don't know about where you are, but here in North Carolina it's just this side of arctic, and that's saying something coming from an honorary Wyominite!

We had a dusting of snow here this weekend. It was really nice. It turned everything all soft and pretty, you couldn't even see all the yard work the commander didn't have time to do! Now if only I could get a deep snow fall inside my house to cover up all the house work I didn't get done!

Have you guys noticed it's Christmas time? We had a visit from Eddie the Christmas Elf Saturday night. Scamp wrote his letter to Santa and Eddie came and picked it up while we all slept. Of course, we had to leave him some cookies. Elves get hungry too, you know. Apparently they get tired too because it appears he also took a little nap on the sofa. Scamp was appropriately impressed by all this. Unfortunately, he now believes Santa will be bringing EVERYTHING on his list. Wow! Seems a shame to dissolution him so young. I may need to have the "Santa has been a victim of the recession" talk with him. Gone are the days when a hand full of cheap toys from the dollar store was a Christmas wonder land! Now it's all about the electronics. When did kids get so expensive? This whole "sacrifice for the kids till you're broke" thing was not in the brochure!

This time of year also brings about the necessary corporate Christmas parties. This year the Commander's company is putting on a big one with a James Bond theme. WHAT???? How do we get James Bond out of Christmas?? Is there a James Bond Christmas special that I'm forgetting about? Does Jimmy dress up in red and say "I'm Clause, Santa Clause" or "I'll have my cocoa shaken, not stirred"?? What does one wear to a James Bond theme corporate Christmas party? gold paint? bell bottoms? a fedora that acts as a sharp, spinny disc thingy? I am at a loss. I refuse to wear a dress as I've already done that this year and once a year is just about my limit. Getting panty hose on this body is not a feat taken lightly and requires several days rest before and after.

If anybody has any ideas about my attire for the upcoming shin dig please share. Hopefully it will be one of those parties where the lights and really low and everyone else is drinking heavily. That way, even if someone gets a good look at me they won't remember it the next morning! Better yet, I could just stay home and tell everyone I was there. They'd never know the difference! No, I'll go and be the corporate wife. I'll smile and try to keep my mouth shut. You never know what I'm gonna say and I don't want to get my husband fired! lol

I guess I'll either paint my finger gold, or change my last name to Jones and decorate my hair with Christmas tree ornaments. Anyone get the reference????? Anyone???

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

When obedience made green rain......

As a rule, most of us are concerned with little things, you know, things like getting a good parking spot, like the library having that book you’ve been looking for, your favorite dish getting dropped but not broken, catching that red light when you’re running just a little bit late. I’ve got news for you; God is also concerned with the little things. Everything that comes into our life must first pass through His hands. I know most of us have heard that multiple times, but have we ever stopped to really ponder that? Everything means everything. Of course, since I’m His favorite person ever, I have personal experience with this notion. Let me tell you a story…….

Quite a few years ago, when my children were young, we found ourselves in a common situation. The Commander had just finished college and was working at his first job as an engineer. Financially, things were really tough and we were counting every penny. Raising 4 young boys is not easy under any circumstances, but we were finding it particularly difficult.

I was attending a women’s conference at our church while The Commander was busy with other things. Childcare had been provided at the conference, so the boys were all with me. I really don’t remember much about the meetings, but I do remember, at the end of our time together they took up an offering for the teenagers who had spent most of the day caring for the many children that were there. I knew I needed one dollar for my oldest son’s lunch money Monday. I opened my wallet and found 5 one dollar bills. I pulled 4 of them our and prepared to put them in the offering. As I did, I heard the Lord speak very clearly to me to put all 5 in the offering. I’m glad no one around me could hear the ensuing internal argument that took place. I reminded God again that I needed one of those for The Viking’s lunch money but the Lord was relentless. I was to put all 5 in the offering. I said to God “what? Are you going to make the extra dollar just fall from the sky????” Nevertheless, I put all 5 in the basket as it came by, but I did so grudgingly.

The next day was Sunday. Following church the Commander took the boys outside to wear them out so we could get some peace, while I stayed inside to worry about how I was going to feed my kid the next day. I had not told my husband I no longer had the dollar we would need. I stepped out onto the front porch to call in the men folk for dinner. It had been breezy all day and still was quite windy. As I looked out into the yard something caught my eye. The wind was carrying something aloft on the breeze. Right as whatever it was approached me, the wind calmed and it fluttered down and landed right at my feet. Imagine my shock and surprise when I looked down and saw a crisp, new one dollar bill laying right on my porch. My first reaction was to laugh in amazement, but followed quickly on the heels of that was a little chagrin. In my doubt and grudging obedience, I underestimated just what my God is capable of.

I have sometimes wondered, whenever I think of this story, just what God might have done if I had only believed. He took my unbelief and made the sky rain down money. Imagine what He might have done if I had only trusted! I missed out on an opportunity to believe.

How many times have we hindered God with our unbelief? In the word we find the story of a man who also struggled with unbelief. In Mark 9 we read of a meeting between him and Jesus. The man utters the words so many have heard so many times. “Lord, I believe! Help thou my unbelief!” What humble words of self-examination! God knows, when challenged with a situation that seems too big, we are often swamped with rampant unbelief. I believe it frees God to work with us, and in us, when we are humble enough to come before Him with transparency of heart and speak out what we find in the depths there.

I want all that God has for me, every blessing, every challenge, every opportunity for growth. I don’t want to ever again feel what I felt on that sunny afternoon when God made money fall from the sky. I don’t want to miss another chance to believe, or if I can’t quite believe, bring my unbelief to Him. It is true the Lord can do anything, but He loves to work for both a faith filled heart, and a humble, honest heart.

Take time today to look up, to believe, to be transparent. It’s my goal to live in faith, and when that’s not possible, to be open about where I am. So look around today, seek out chances to put your faith into action. You won’t be disappointed. That’s what I’ll be doing. If you come by, you’ll see me out in the front yard. I’ll be the one looking up and holding a butterfly net!

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor

I'm at home, despite myself

There was a huge dinner at church last night. Every year my new church does a Holiday Gala. It's a big fancy dinner for women only. Not long after I arrived I was asked if I would like to be a table hostess. Of course, I said yes. I had no idea what all that would entail. It seems a table hostess is responsible for EVERYTHING on the table except the food. (it was catered by a really nice place here in town) I realized, when I found this out, I didn't actually have matching place settings for eight. In fact, I had nothing! So, I had to get the dishes, the stemware, the flatware, the napkins, chargers and the center piece! It was a little more than I was expecting, but, oh, so worth the expense! My table turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself!

The entertainment was amazing, too. Adoration, a three woman group performed. The harmonies were wonderful! More than the beautiful settings, the great food, the amazing entertainment, it was phenomenal for another reason; the women there.

If you have read many of the postings on my blog, you know I was less than overjoyed at the prospect of relocating here. In fact, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was done, simply, out of obedience to God. I knew He was sending us here. I knew, because He loves me, it would eventually be a good thing for us. Eventually has arrived. I am not so foolish as to think there will be no hard times, no difficult times, no trials to go through, fiery or otherwise. But, I am now surrounded by friends. I am amazed at how many people I have made real connections with.

So, while I still miss friends and family in the wonderful peach state, I, almost (don't tell my kids!) have a life! Will miracles never cease?!?!

Next time you're in the area look me up. I can't promise I'll be home, but if I am, we can have a sit, have a cup and get caught up on God's goodness! I have come to the startling realization, that despite my best efforts, North Carolina is now my home.

I'm gonna go now, I've got places to go and people to see!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

The icing covered woman who walks with a limp

Home alone on a Sunday morning.

Why? You ask? It's a very long story, but it involves an injured knee, a harvest festival, a house that didn't get cleaned, a game that didn't get painted, and an assortment of other jobs that didn't get finished because I'm hobbling around at 1/4 speed of my normal rate. So, I find myself here alone while the others have all gone off to Sunday service. Sometimes, Sundays are indeed a time to rest. I figure if I stay home, move slowly through the list of things still to be done and take frequent breaks to put my knee up, I just might make it through this evenings festivities without ending up on crutches.

There was a time, in the not so distant past, I would have been unable to do this. Unable, not because anyone was standing over me with a whip, but because I would have been swamped with condemnation for missing service. Yes, I do miss going. I love attending our new church, God always meets me there, but I have finally realized I won't go to hell if I miss Sunday morning. He is a good God who understands our frailties and does not condemn us for them.

My break is over now and I've really got so much to do! There will be pictures later of all the fun and excitement. If you're in the area drop on by Church Alive and squeeze your way into the cake walk. I'll be the one with icing on my face!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

How a train left me incomplete

I'm tired, I just am. It matters not that I didn't get out of bed today till noon, only to go back to bed at 2:30 and sleep till 5pm. I was up at 6:30 with the puppy (THAT was not in the brochure). Then took Mumbles to wrestling practice only to be called back an hour later as apparently there were only 3 of us dumb enough to attend a Saturday morning practice. After a quick stop at Dunkin Donuts, a quick run around the yard for the pup, I was back in bed by 10am. So, you see, while there was a lot of sleeping going on today, it was broken sleep and everyone knows that's just not restful. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

This afternoon we headed for the North Carolina State Fair. That's all I've heard about for several weeks now. "Oooo! how wonderful the fair is!!! How glorious the fair is!! Have been to the fair yet? NO?! Well, your life is just not complete. yadda. yadda. yadda." So fearing that my life, would not, in fact, be complete, we headed that direction. Notice I said we headed to the fair, I never said we actually made it to the fair.

About 2 miles from the entrance we hit the traffic. We creeped along, stopping and going, never reaching 5 mph for what seemed like an enternity. We finally reached a point where we could see the fair. We could actually see it! We could smell the funnel cakes and hear the screams from the roller coaster. We had only one intersection to make our way through and we would reach our destination. Then it happened, the lights started flashing, the bells starting ringing and the cross bars over the railroad tracks started to lower. I could not believe a train was coming through! "But, oh, it's not so bad" I thought, "it's a passenger train and it's short!" Then when it had only 3 cars left to clear the intersection it came to a stop. A STOP!! It was 25 minutes later before we made it past that intersection and after a total of over an hour in traffic we had still not reached the entrance. When we did make it that far we found there was no parking within 2 miles! I guess we weren't the only ones with incomplete lives.

We left.

We headed to Red Robin instead.

After a Mai Tai I felt much better.

I'm not feeling incomplete. I'm just hoping that's not just the Mai Tai talking.

Funnel cakeless and tired,
Spokenfor

Surprise!!! Roadtrip!!!

Don't you just love fall? The colors, the smells, the cool, brisk mornings; I love it all! It's truly my favorite time of year.

This weekend, I went to the women's retreat with a group from church. I made some friends, had some fun, learned a lot, and got absolutely no sleep! It's a good thing this only happens once a year, I'm too old to do it more often!

The Commander and I, finally, were able to pull one over on the brothers. I had to leave Friday morning for the retreat, which, since it was a teachers workday, meant the boys would have been home alone all day. It wouldn't have been a problem for any of them except Scamp. I don't mind leaving him with them for short periods, but, since I'm a little attached to him and would just as soon he have all his digits upon my return, other plans had to be made for him. The adults hatched a plan! The commander took Friday off to, at least we told the boys, take care of them while I was gone. They were told they had to go to Surfer Dudes eye appointment and then would spend the day at a museum with their Dad. They were not happy about it. Mumbles complained that it wasn't even uniquely boring, it was "cliche boring"! lol Little did they know I was secretly at work!

Friday morning arrived bright and early and we got the brothers up before the sun. You should have heard them complain! We explained, in order to save money we had to make Surfer Dude's appointment in a town not exactly near us and they would have to drive a bit. So, we piled them all in the car and The Commander started driving south. They got all the way to the South Carolina border before they realized something was up. The eye appointment truly wasn't in town here, what they didn't know, was that it was back in our home town! I had packed them the night before while they slept and the Commander had sneaked the suitcases out the back door the next morning while they stumbled around half asleep. Museum, indeed! lol We showed them we may be old, but we've still got some tricks up our sleeves. We had already made plans for them to spend time with their friends and go to the High School football game. They were incredulous that we had pulled it off. I think I laughed all the way to the retreat! Needless to say, fun was, indeed, had by all.

I love doing things for my brood that I know will bring them joy. A trip to Georgia was cool, but a surprise trip to Georgia was even cooler. I think sometimes God does the same thing for us. We have times in our lives that are "less than cool", times we look at the future and see nothing but a day at a museum, when God has something much cooler planned for us. The joy I got out of doing this for my kids was enormous. God loves us so much more than we can love our kids.
Some of the attitudes in the days leading up to the trip were less than stellar. They were, shall we say, really crappy. (yes, I did just use that word, sometimes it's the only one that fits!) How many times do we have that type of attitude about what we perceive is in our future? Because our Heavenly Father loves us beyond words we have to trust whatever He brings into our lives is there for our good, even if we can't see it right away. I told the brothers to trust us, that they would have fun, that maybe they would be surprised at what a good time they had that day. They were considerably less than trusting. Mumbles even replied "Dad is just not the surprising kind". I nearly choked on my laughter when he said that.

We serve a surprising God. Do you think Mary and Martha were surprised when Christ raised Lazarus from the dead? When all looked hopeless, Jesus had something up his sleeve. Do you think the disciples were surprised when He fed the 5000 with just a few fish and loaves? How surprised were the disciples when Jesus rose from the grave? All had looked lost a few days before, darkness engulfed their world and hope was a scarce commodity, but a surprise was coming! God is a good God and everything that comes from Him is good, even if we can't see it right away. He is a surprising God! If you look in the word you will find time after time when He surprised His people. Abraham and Sara, now there's a surprise if ever there was one! Daniel in the lion's den, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendigo in the fiery furnace, another surprise. The disciples seem to be loosing hope and trust in him when the storm came up suddenly on the sea of Galilee, you might say it surprised them, but the biggest surprise was when Jesus came walking to them on the water, called one of them out of the boat, then climbed in there with them and calmed the sea. Do you really think they were expecting that? I'll bet if you asked them they would say it was worth going through the storm to have that experience with Him.

In the big things and in little things, God is a God of surprises. It still surprises and amazes me on a daily basis that He prefers me, He loves me, He sings over me. He delights in surprising His children. Sometimes it's a beautiful sunset, a bird singing by your window, an unexpected phone call from an old friend or even something as simple as your favorite candy bar on sale! ( I'm a firm believer that chocolate is, in fact, from God and will be prominently featured at the marriage supper of the lamb) So look around today, be aware, take time to acknowledge the little "surprises" He may plant in your way and just say "thanks". He delights in you, in me, in all His children. Trust in that, hope in that, revel in that.

What has God surprised you with lately? Share your story, we'd all love to hear it!

I'm going now. Unless God is going to surprise me with the gift of a laundry fairy, I've got to get busy around here!

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor

Holy Swiffer, Batman!!

I was looking around my house today, you know, the one I've only lived in for about 3 months. I was amazed at how many things I am already in the habit of overlooking; the marks on the wall by the couch, the dings in the wall from the furniture, the spot on the carpet in Scamp's room. You know, little things. I guess you could just say the house is finally beginning to look lived in. When I took a closer look I saw things that I had seen so many times I no longer saw them.

All this pondering led me down another road. How many things in our life do we live with just because we are so comfortable with them that we don't even really see them anymore? Are there things in my heart that are so obvious to others that I don't even see anymore? If someone pointed them out to me would I say "oh, yeah, that's been there forever! I'll get around to fixing it sooner or later"? Who and what am I really living with? We must be careful not to become so relaxed with the tenants who share our hearts that we fail to evict them just because we are comfortable. They don't really cause us that much trouble. That's what we tell ourselves. "Sure, I have a little unforgivness in here, but he's really no trouble at all. He just rents a small little room, a closet, really, and I never hear anything out of him". That's a dangerous place to be, folks. Like a termite, unforgivness will eat it's way into the walls of your heart, hardening them and making them impenetrable to the Holy Spirit. Do we let Anger park in our garage? Self-Pity have a room in the attic? Gossip camp out on the couch and has kitchen privileges?

Have you ever gotten your house ready to sell? As you start going from room to room you start to see your home through the eyes of others. Suddenly, things are looking a little different. What you thought was just cozy, you can see how others would perceive as cramped. What you see at shabby chic, others just see as shabby. So it is with our hearts. It's important to take time to do a heart check. David said in Psalm 139:23, "Search me, O God, and know my heart". Would our hearts look any different through the eyes of someone else, of the Lord? Would our "humbleness" be shown to actually be self-pity? Would our "righteous indignation" be reveled to just be plain anger? How about when we are "discerning the body"? Are we actually just plain ol gossiping?

I think it's time for some house cleaning in my heart. I try to remember the word says in Jeremiah 17:9 -" The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" I am going to spend some time asking the Lord to open my eyes to look at my heart the way He sees it. I've got a feeling it will be completely different from the way I see it.

I have a long habit of seeing things the way I want to see them. I'm afraid my children have inherited this trait. Yesterday, when Scamp got home from school, I asked him about his day. He informed me he was moved to the second discipline level during the day. (they go from 3 down to 1, the hope being we can stay on 3 all day!) When I asked him what he did, he said he really didn't remember, he might have said something to someone that wasn't nice, but he was sure he didn't mean it. Only 5 years old and already justifying and covering up his behavior. Sometimes I wonder why God made this child so beautiful and so charming all at the same time. It makes it really difficult to fuss at him when he flashes those blue eyes! lol

Unfortunately, there are no mini-maids or cleaning services for the soul. I've got to take things out, look at them, and take them to the Lord for a dunk in his cleansing blood. It washes away every stain, every blemish, every bit of grime and dust we gather as we walk here on earth.

I've got to go, now, my house needs a good cleaning. I wonder if the Bible mentions a Swifer for the soul????

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Room For Rent

A house with many rooms,
numerous people crowded in,
always opposing one another,
fighting battles none can win.

Anger's room is at hall's end
right across from Fear's domain.
Twins Depression and Despair live
around the corner, just below Insane.

Terror willingly abides throughout
while Shame welcomes all who enter.
Past Regrets controls everyone
with Grief serving as her mentor.

Happiness, Peace, Joy, Love
never darken porch nor door.
Broken Hearts overgrow the path,
Past Relationships litter the floor.

Till the Holy Spirit comes rushing in
bringing Christ's cleansing blood.
Evicting the darkness dwelling within
making all shine with the light of His love.

A Couch Full of Mashed Potatoes

I was going to write about procrastination, but I decided to do that later.

You wanna hear something slightly disturbing??? It's less than 3 months till Christmas! I have friends ( I use the word loosely as they make me look really bad!) who have already started their shopping. Every year I say I'm going to get started early, but I never do. My kids always end up with the hottest toy........... from last year! It's usually just about the only thing left by the time I get around to shopping the day before Christmas eve. This year, I decided to do things differently. So far, that is what I have done; decided to do things differently, not actually done anything differently.

On another note, I need some feedback, some advise, some borrowed wisdom, if you will. I have once again decided to enter the world of painting. Now, before you go envisioning canvases everywhere covered in amazing pieces of artwork worthy of any museum, let me clarify. I mean my dinning room. Gone are the days when I could have jumped in, cleaned and painted the room and had it all put back together in a morning. I'm old now, these things take time. Because it's a project that will, in all honesty, probably take the better part of a week, I want to get the color right the first time. Once I get color on the walls it's gonna stay for a while unless one of you guys wants to come up and repaint it! Should I go earthy with golden browns, tans, or greens, or should I go bold with something like a hunter green or maybe one raspberry wall? Maybe I should go light and airy (kind of like me) and choose a pastel. I'm not sure how my boys would react to the last option. Give me some help here, people! I admit to being a decorating wanna be so I depend on the insight of others to help with these difficult, life altering, mind blowing decisions. What's that? You say I need to get a life?? Tell me about it!

I'm thinking of starting to walk every morning again. I'm thinking about it, I haven't actually done it yet. I have a sister-in-law who just ran a 15K. She's awesome like that. Me? Not so much. She suggested I give running a try, said it would be great for me. I told her if I am running, it's because something is chasing me. I. don't. run. Have you ever heard that saying "it's hard to stop a train"? Well it would sort of apply here. Once you get this much bulk moving at any speed at all, it's no easy feat to stop it! There is another very good reason for this, my life's mantra. It's not because I wouldn't like to feel the freedom of running. I can see it now, I'm running through the woods on a perfect fall day, dressed in the latest running fashions, of course, wind blowing through my long, blonde hair. See me as I float along effortlessly while my little woodland friends, the birds, squirrels, and chipmonks cheer me on. I finish my 10 miles without breaking a sweat and arrive back home to my gorgeous husband meeting me on the back deck with a big glass of water and a light lunch he has prepared of salad greens and fresh fruit while surrounded by my perfect adoring children. Now fast forward into real life. That would be me in the stained sweats and t-shirt, soaking wet, huffing and puffing, after I've been chased by the neighbor's dog and laughed at by the neighborhood children, all while going to the mailbox and back. If I start running, it'll be because I'm running from my kids, or maybe I could start running from responsibility, or commitment. There's all kinds of things I could run from, all while not leaving my couch. I think I will keep with my exercise routine of jumping to conclusions and running my mouth and walking to the kitchen and back.

Today is Monday, start of a new week. Once again, the laundry is piled up, the house is a mess, and I sit here at my laptop happily ignoring it all.

What I really need around here is an adult to take care of the boring, important stuff. Anyone up for the job? I can pay you in unused exercise clothes and equipment.

Send your resume addressed to the couch potato. I'm sure I'll get it.

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Why You Should Always Lock Your Cabinets!

My kids are a constant source of joy in my life. Let me rephrase, I am always thankful for my children. Let me try that one more time, there are times when I tolerate the little people who came from my body and now reside in my house. Do you kids ever embarrass you? I think mine have it down to a fine art. After raising so many boys I've become immune to a lot of it. You know, the stuff like when they smack each other in public, or wear their jeans so baggy their underwear show. No problem, you're the one who looks foolish, not me! I can so handle those times. I'm talking about the moments you want to crawl under the carpet and pretend you never had time to procreate.

I remember one such time when Monkey Boy was about 5 years old. We were having some kind of party/family gathering at our house. We had about 40 people there. With so many people around, half of them extended family I was guilty of not watching him very closely as I figured if he started gushing blood or exploded into flames or threatened anyone with his pocket knife someone around would either handle it or let me know about it. It turns out, not so much. I was in the opposite end of the house, of course, when I heard a good bit of laughter coming from the living room. I remember smiling and thinking to myself what a wonderful hostess I was that people were having such a great time talking and laughing. While I was patting myself on the back, my 5 year old was, in fact, providing the entertainment. He came sauntering in the kitchen to ask for a drink. I looked down at him and suddenly understood why everyone was laughing. It seems he had gotten a scratch somehow and felt, as all 5 yr olds do, that it immediately deserved a band-aid and, being such a big boy, he would just handle that himself. The only problem with this line of thought was he couldn't reach them. However, being so ingenious, he discovered the perfect solution. There, in Mom's bathroom was a little bag under the sink with the biggest band-aids he had ever seen! Each one was folded and wrapped in it's own little wrapper. He thought "Mom's been holding out on me! She's saving all the really good band-aids for herself!". Being so proud of his discovery he had to remove his shirt so everyone could see how big he was with his really big band-aid, before he strolled through 40 people to find me. Imagine my horror upon seeing my cute little boy covered in maxi pads! People were laying on the floor laughing. There were those who needed oxygen and one uncle whom I thought was going to need a defibrillator! I have never lived this down, and neither has he. He's almost a teenager now and claims to have absolutely no memory of the event, but the red on his face whenever it comes up tells a different story!

I'm no stranger to such deeds as this either, albeit unintentional, so Monkey Boy comes by it naturally. I remember in Wyoming a time I wanted to crawl in a hole and pull it in over me. We had moved to a new house and found we needed a new cable for the tv to replace one that had broken during the move. So, one Saturday afternoon I headed out to the local Radio Shack to secure the needed tv watching supplies. I was so proud of myself because I had remember to bring the old one with me so I was sure to get the right kind. I entered a very crowded store and, after a little bit of a wait, was approached by a young man, who, if out of high school was not by much. When he asked me what I needed, I replied, "I need another one of these" as I so proudly whipped the broken cord from my purse. Unfortunately, little did I know it had become tangled around, you guessed it, a giant maxi pad! As I whipped (there really is no other word the way I did it) it from my purse the pad came flying out with it, hit a gentleman standing close by in the back of his bald head, and landed at the feet of the poor, confused teenager. I'll never forget the look on the face of the bald man as he turned around to find out what was being thrown at him. At that point I prayed God would just rapture me right out of there. I can tell the story now without dying of mortification, but it was touch and go there for a while!

I've sometimes wondered if God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit sit around and tell stories about their kids. I can hear it now, "remember the time....." and they all laugh. I'm sure, if that's true, I have supplied them with endless hours of material to talk about.

I guess if you can't laugh at yourself you'll spend too much time crying!

Excuse me now, I think I left the bathroom cabinets unlocked and I just remembered I now have another 5 year old in the house. I'd better go take care of that!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Changing Your Mind and Unloading Your Wagon

There was a huge church picnic today. I have to admit, it was a little rough for me. My kids would say it was an "epic failure"! Oh, don't get me wrong, the picnic itself was great. The food was yummy, (even if there was not a drop of real sauce at this "bar-b-que"! must be a North Carolina thing!) and everyone was super nice. The weather was clear, although it was hot as blue blazes, but I, once again, succumbed to my insecurities and found myself sitting on the outside looking in. Maybe it was the fact that it was so hot, maybe it was the fact that I still don't know many people very well, maybe it was the fact I was tired, didn't like what I was wearing and my shoes were too tight. It could have been any number of things. That's what I like to tell myself, but, inside, I know better. Once again the little demons of "what if they don't like me?" and "they don't really want to know me" and "if I talk to someone I'll just say something stupid" reared their ugly head. You may know them, I know them well. I'm also getting a little tired of them telling me how to live my life. It's just, well, I know them. They've been around for as long as I can remember and I really can't imagine life without them, but I'd like to. I don't want, at the end of my life, to look back and realize I missed out on so much because of fear; fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking like a fool. I want to live life in a big way, the way I live it in my head.

I remember when I was young, you know, around the time of the dinosaurs, when the world should have been rife with possibilities. For me, it wasn't. There were, uuhh, how do I say this, certain restrictions put on me because of where we were in life as a family. Don't get me wrong, some very good things came out of the life we were living, but sometimes, I can't help but grieve for what could have been and never had a chance to be.

It was all complicated by the young man who destroyed my innocence when I was only 5 years old. He'll never know how what happened in that tool shed changed me inside. It took years for me to look at it clearly, to acknowledge the damage done to my little soul in only one afternoon. He left a deposit there that would remain for 30 years before God dug it out and threw it away. Complete healing, however, is a process. When you've spent 30 years acting and reacting a certain way, even after there's healing, there's the habits of living that have to be changed. We live as we think so, you could say, changing our mind is what is necessary. The Bible puts it another way; Romans 12:2 (amplified Bible)

²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

It's the renewing of our minds that changes us. The shame that followed me, the feeling of always being different, of being damaged somehow has been healed by God. I have been set free by his amazing grace, yet, I still find myself falling into the same habits and patterns of behavior. I believe, as my mind is changed, renewed, if you will, by his word, these habits and patterns will fall by the way side as well. However, I have an active part in it. There's something for me to do. I have to see them for what they are, outdated, no longer necessary self-preservation behaviors, and do something about it. I have to have my mind renewed, my thinking changed.

We've all seen the burger commercial where they spout the old saying "change is good". Well, change may be good, but it's seldom easy! Admittedly, it would just be easier to say "this is the way I am, the way I've always been, it's all I know". However, when God calls us into something new, we can rarely accomplish all He has for us if we are dragging tons of baggage He's already made a way for us to off-load. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of dragging along a bag someone else packed for me. It gets exhausting in a hurry! God has broken the chains that bound it to me so I'm just gonna let it drop right here and start building a new outlook.

Take a good look at the picture at the top of this post. Do you really think that donkey is going anywhere fast? I think that is the way we look sometimes in the spiritual. We've allowed our wagon to get so loaded there's no way we can go anywhere! God says in Matthew 11:28 - 30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God's wagon will never tip you over with it's weight!

My goal this week will be to purposefully unload my wagon and work on changing my mind. My goal will also be to work on not purposefully changing my mind about unloading my wagon! lol I'm old, set in my ways, change doesn't come easy to me, but the potential rewards are luring me in. Look at the passage above. Notice anything in verse 29? It tells us the way to find peace is simply to learn of Him, "learn of me.....and ye shall find rest for your souls". I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some rest for my soul!

So, go learn of Him, it'll help unload your wagon.

Meanwhile, I find myself strangely craving oats with a side of hay.........

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor

Happy Feet and Colored Contacts

Pastor Awesome and Mrs Awesome came to our house tonight. We wanted them to pray over and bless our new home. It was a great time of fellowship and prayer. Part way through their visit I was hit with a stunning revelation. These people are the first pastors I have ever been around where I was completely comfortable! Don't get me wrong, the pastors of my past were some great men of God. None of them had horns, breathed fire, levitated, moved objects with their minds, were prone to wild fits of hysteria, none of them. There wasn't even a case of b.o. or bad breath that comes to mind, well, there was this one...... never mind. My point is I have been away from a certain place (some of you know where) for long enough that I no longer fear being dragged to the front of the church and having my mail read for the entire congregation. I have learned to trust again. For me, that is HUGE! I am finally in a place where I feel safe, safe to be who I am, safe to trust the man God has put over me is not going to annihilate me emotionally, simply put, I am safe.

I thank God he sent us to North Carolina. It's not been an easy road, I'm not going to lie, it's been tough in a lot of ways. However, I am now starting to see some wonderful benefits from our move. I am learning who I am, not who I could be, should be, or want to be, but who I am. It's important for us to move in the giftings the Father has given us. How can we do that if we are afraid to admit they are there? Knowing yourself, I believe, is a big step towards knowing God and how He wants you to live your life. Take me for instance, (since I'm the one writing, it seems only natural to use me as an example, live with it! lol) I am not a quiet person. Now, I know that comes as a shock to some of you, but hear me out. I love to laugh, I love even more to make other people laugh. I love to get excited, to shout, to sing, to live exuberantly! I believe it's one of my biggest strengths, but also, one of my biggest weaknesses. I find it hard, at times, to be as subdued as some situations call for. I have friends who are so sweet, really sweet, not fakey sweet. We all know people like that. They go through life with a sweet smile, never getting too upset, never really loosing their temper, staying steady and calm. The commander is like that. I, am soooo not. I can force myself, to a certain extent to take on an air of peaceful sweetness for a time, but sooner or later (usually sooner) my true colors show through. It has sometimes caused me trouble and I have wanted so badly to be one of the calm people in the world. I am who I am. I am who God made me. I have to do and be what he made me for, not anyone else.

Have you ever seen someone with colored contacts in? Your brown eyed co-worker shows up one day with stunningly blue eyes. It may be beautiful, but it's not real, it's an illusion. I believe we need to come to the place where we can look at our giftings, personality, intelligence, the list goes on and on, the same way we look at something as simple as the color of our eyes. I can love the fact my eyes are green. I can play it up with make-up or hair styles but I can't really take credit for it. It is what it is. I can put in blue contacts that make my eyes the color of a fall sky, but underneath, they're still green. I've only covered up what God has made me to be. That's the way it is when we are reluctant to admit to and develop the gifts and talents God has given us. We are only covering up what He has made, we're not actually changing anything. There's no reason to be proud of my green eyes, I had nothing to do with their coloring, just as I had nothing to do with the fact the Father blessed me with a good voice. I have hidden for years from my giftings, partly from fear of straying into pride, but partly from fear of not being worthy of them. Now that's just plain silly! Who has ever opened a present on Christmas morning only to turn and hand it back to the giver and say "I'm not worthy" or "I'm afraid I'll be too proud of it"?

We need to relax. There is a peace in being who you are, the authentic you, the you God made you to be, not the you you want to be, but the you you already are. If you are loud, be loud, be happy, spread your joy and sunshine. Slather it on everyone you meet. Don't be ashamed of it. If you're quieter, reserved, don't try to be anything else, it only comes across as stilted and forced. Spread your peace and quiet contentment to all you meet. If you can sing, then sing! If you can dance, then dance! If you can teach, teach or preach or witness or draw or paint, or write, or take pictures, or host someone in your home or whatever God has given you the ability to do. To take a phrase from popular media; Just Do It!

In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul writes of the gifts of the Spirit. The different gifts are given to different people in the body. He was speaking of spiritual gifts, but I believe this goes for gifts in the natural as well. The gifts are all different, but they come from the same spirit and for the same reason; to edify the body. How ridiculous would it be for someone to try to make their nose act as their ears? or their ears to act as their mouth? But that is what we do so many times. Each body needs it's ears to act as ears, it's eyes to act as eyes. Each spiritual body needs those who teach or sing or host or praise or vacuum or clean the bathrooms or run after the rug rats in the nursery. The eyes are so small in relation to the rest of the body, but can you imagine being without them? It may seem like a lowly job to clean the toilets at church, but can you imagine if there were no one to do it? Take joy in your purpose.

I am reminded of a children's movie I once saw called "Happy Feet". It was all about a small penguin blessed with the gift of dance but born into a flock of singing penguins. He struggled to fit in, to be accepted, but it was truly awful when he tried to sing. In the end, though, it was his unique gift that saved the entire flock from being wiped out and netted him the pretty girl penguin to boot. His feet were, indeed, happy. He couldn't sing, but he also couldn't not dance. That's where I want to be. I want to be so in tune with the Lord I can't not do what he created me to do nor be anything other than what he created me to be.

I am going to make it a point to start to thank God for me, for who I am, for who he made me to be. I will strive to not be ashamed of who I am, for I am in Him.

Now, the size of my thighs, that's a different matter. That's all my doing...........

Until next time stay,

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Sometimes I feel like a nut.........

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." - Albert Einstein

I can across this quote the other day and I had to sit and ponder it for a while. Character and the building of it, is not something we hear a lot about these days. It's not "PC", not cool or hip, or "fly" as my kids say, anymore. When did it go out of style to be a person of integrity? After all, that is how we could describe someone of strong character, isn't it?

Character is something that is built on a daily basis. It's what is being built when no one is around to watch what you are doing and how you are acting or reacting. It's about what is going on inside your heart. If character were an oak tree, attitude would be it's acorn. Have you ever found yourself having a bad day that you just can't seem to shake? The dog wakes you up at 5am, your car won't start, your kids are begging for last minute homework help, the coffee maker won't work, it goes on and on and on. By the time you get on your way, you're late, and when someone cuts you off in traffic you explode. You call down all sorts of calamities upon their head, even if it's silently. The heart is never silent to God. You go on through your day snapping at people, having no patience and a hard shell starts to develop around your heart. Left that way, over time, your heart starts to harden and you become your snappy attitude; always thinking everyone else has it better, easier and they're all out to get you.

Your day could have gone a little differently. This time, when the dog wakes you, you take time to appreciate the sunrise God created. When your car won't start you realize you can slow down, wait for a repair and not rush into a panic. You can thank God your kids want your help and, if they're teenagers, be amazed they deem you smart enough to help them. Once you're on your way you stop and treat yourself to a Starbucks since the coffee maker wasn't working. You reach your destination, maybe a little late, but relaxed and peaceful.

How many of us have lived out either scenario above or at least something similar? Life is not easy, things go wrong, but we don't have to be at the mercy of our emotions and attitude. I'm not saying I'm always living out the second scenario, truth be told, sometimes it's more like the first, but usually it's somewhere in between. The attitude we choose to live our life with will eventually define us. From an irritable attitude can grow self-pity and martyrdom which will foster a sense of entitlement. An arrogant attitude will harden our hearts, squeezing out any empathy that may be there and causing us to scoff at others less fortunate.

Why is this matter of character so important? Beyond the simple fact that living with character makes for a happier life, we need it if we are to be any good to the kingdom. It's important to allow God to develop the character needed to carry the gifts and callings He has chosen for us. To do otherwise is to court trouble. God blesses men and women of good character. The word of God tells us "Moral character makes for smooth traveling" (Proverbs 11:5 The Message Bible).

All this talk of character and the building thereof had me thinking again. It's something I try not to do too often, I get a headache. How is character built? Where does it come from? We have to turn again to the word of God. In Romans 5: 3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." If you're honest and you're anything at all like I am, that scripture made you groan and want to hide your head in the sand because it all started with suffering! It's kind of like that virtue called patience; we all want it, but since "tribulation worketh patience" we don't want to pray for it!! But the benefits outweigh the pains.

It has to become something we work on daily. Every time we choose the right attitude we're watering that little acorn of character. Every time we over look someone else's faults or slights against us that little acorn gets a little more of what it needs to grow into an oak. Sure, it takes time and effort, but be assured, it's worth it. Do you want God to be your shield? Proverbs 2:7 says the answer is to walk with integrity. There's quite a list of the benefits of living a life of character. All the following are found in Proverbs; 2:7 God will be your shield, 11:3 guidance, 11:20 God relishes integrity, 20:7 blessings on our children, 14:32 integrity creates a safe place to live.

I want to be a person of character, of integrity. Do you? Are you willing to let God work in your heart to build the character the he wants to have there? Are you willing to make the hard choices concerning your attitudes on a daily basis? Are you willing to spend time watering that little acorn with the "miracle grow" of the word of God? If you are, then I know the Lord will be faithful to grow that tiny acorn into a towering oak tree of character, one that dominates the landscape of your life and draws people in. Then God will pour out the richness of all His blessings on you and on your family.

So the next time someone calls you a nut, just look them dead in the eye, give them a big smile and say "thank you very much"!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor



Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

Aaah-choo!!!

It was a lovely Sunday morning service. It was a nice Sunday family lunch. It was an ok Sunday all around, until..... until the mother of all colds decided to settle upon me and beat me up from the inside out! So, what I'm trying to say, nicely, is, GO AWAY! don't go away mad, just go away, and pray for me while you do! For a while I was afraid I was going to die, and now I'm a little afraid I won't. I'm going to bed, I suggest you do the same.

C-ya
Spokenfor

Yes, I do happen to know the way to Sesame Street.

I am a mom, that is what I am. Each pregnancy is etched in my mind so clearly. It's all there; the sickness, the heartburn, the exhaustion, the first movement, the first kick, the first heartbeat. I remember each birth; each pain, each incision, the first cry, the first look, the first moment of love. Never will I forget. I am a mom. I cherish the memory of the first bath, the first bottle, the first diaper change. I can clearly recall the sleepless nights, the colicky evenings when no one slept, the spit up, the throw up, and covering up to nurse in public. I am a mom.

As they each grew, the needs and sounds of our household changed, but I still carry those sounds with me. The bickering and teasing, the squeals of joy and yelps of pain, the contented sighs and the belly laughs, all still echo in my mind. I am a mom. I remember every skinned knee, pinched finger, pulled hair, and stubbed toe. I remember nights filled with fever and little sleep, and days filled with cartoons, sippy cups and laughter. I can still see the joy of the discovery of learning; letters, colors, shapes, sounds, it was all so amazing. I remember it all. I am a mom.

I once had a closet of suits and dresses, I now have a dresser full of sweats and t-shirts. I once carried a designer purse, then came the designer diaper bag. Once it was coffee with friends, then it became juice boxes at the park, I once knew the plot to quite a few prime time soaps, now I can tell you every train on Thomas and Friends, as well as every member of the Justice League. I know all the words to Steve's mail song, how to stop Swiper, and just who it is that lives in the pineapple under the sea. That is my world and I try to stay knowledgeable about current events, and yes, I do happen to know the way to Sesame Street. I am, after all, a mom.

I have watched my kids grow with a heart filled with joy, a body filled with pain, a stomach filled with butterflies, and eyes, at times, filled with tears. Remember, I am a mom. Now we're on to girlfriends, learners licenses, contacts, cell phones, lap tops and video games. I look at a man standing 6' 5" and I see a little boy only 3' 3" holding a metal lunch box heading to preschool. I want to give them roots, I want to give them wings. I want them to soar, I want to catch them if they fall. I want them to have a wonderful life, I want them to never move away from home. I am a mom.

Motherhood, no greater joy, no greater heartache to be found anywhere on earth. I know, I am, after all, a mom.

Laundry today, or naked tomorrow

I haven't written much lately. I'm not sure why. The brothers are back in school and the house is mine for a few quiet, albeit short, hours a day. I find myself in a bit of a funk, at a crossroads if you will. I'm adrift in that transitional place where the excitement of the move has worn off, but life is not yet as it will be in, say, 6 months from now. You know, when I will once again be surrounded by so many devoted fans, uh, I mean friends. The place where my social calendar is always full and I have to draw names from a hat to try to figure out which invitation to accept less I offend one of the many people clamoring for my attention. Ok, I'm awake now, what I mean to say is when I have a friend I can go have coffee with!

This is a season of change in my family's life and in my life personally. You know the saying, "change is good", well, thats relative.

The brothers started school yesterday. I admit, when they left, I cried. I don't know why, I guess I just missed them. Monkey Boy seemed so small standing there at the bus stop all by himself. I had to drive him to it as there was a mix-up and the closest bus stop to our house is almost a mile away! Then, when I was returning to the house I passed Surfer Boy and Mumbles at their stop. There were about 15 kids out there with them, but they were standing off to themselves talking to each other. No one was paying any attention to them. Now, before you start feeling sorry for them, please remember who we're talking about. They were probably standing there quietly making fun of those surrounding them, thereby rendering them with no time to actually talk to those same kids. My boys are nothing if not predictable. I know how their safety methods work; pretend to not want to make friends with anyone so if no one likes you it's all good. So, saying all this, I also have to admit they were not even in the house this afternoon before I was supremely annoyed by them! They are under the false belief that as soon as the doorbell is rung I magically am teleported to the front door to open it for them. Ain't happening.

Being the first day of school I decided to make homemade chocolate marshmallow cookies for them. It was a new recipe, but it looked so good, and so it was, at least I thought it was. Out of the four brothers, one loved them (but he'll eat anything sweet, so he doesn't count!) one said they were good, but that he "would finish eating it a little later", one said they were just "ok" and one said they were too chocolatey. Is that even possible? I've never heard of anything having "too much" chocolate. That's like saying "I'm too thin, too rich, and my house is too clean". It just can't happen in truth!



No great spiritual insights today. I'm just here in the trenches, slogging it out, trying to keep my head down so I don't get shot and keep the laundry up while I'm doing it. I heard someone say once that as a Christian woman, how we ran our home was a direct reflection on God. I kind of hope that's not true, because if God were here, he probably wouldn't have anything to wear tomorrow either!

Running around crazy today; doctor appointments, errands, laundry, and cooking. I'm already tired! This writers block, like all blocks, will pass, hopefully soon. Until then you're stuck with the mundane happenings of my everyday life and the lives of my kids.

Quote of the day: Laundry today, or naked tomorrow! gotta love truth when you see it!

Gotta run, I'm out of Tide and these trenches get really muddy!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

What are you doing here?

I started to write, but then I decided I need chocolate. So come back tonight and I'll have an update for you!!!! Until then, it's chocolate cookies for everyone!!!!!!!

Hugs, Kisses, and Meatloaf

I was feeling the need for warmth, comfort and "homeness" the other night so I did what all, good, southern women do. I made comfort food. This night, for me, that meant meatloaf. I don't make it very often because it's fattening and, let's face it, the kids normally won't eat it, but I needed comfort, and since I'm the cook, I win. It was accompanied by the required mashed potatoes and green beans. The only thing I was lacking was chocolate for dessert. This lapse was corrected by a Hershey's bar I had hidden in the bottom of my purse, slightly melted and misshapened but chocolate non the less.

We all have our moments of needing comfort and it starts from birth. Sometimes all a cranky newborn wants is the comfort found in his mother's arms. It doesn't change much as we grow. A toddler doesn't really want a band-aid for his skinned knee, he wants his mother's attention, kisses, and, yes, again, comfort. Along the way, our comfort needs may change from Mom's kisses to a blanket or a stuffed animal to a song, a friend, or even a particular routine, but we still all need that comfort. Psych doctors tell us it's an important step in development when we learn to "self-comfort". It's what makes our 5yr old be able to fall asleep by himself and our 1yr have a little more trouble.

As adults, since it's no longer acceptable to go running to Mom for kisses every time we have a bad day (plus by this time we've waaay outgrown her lap) we find other ways to self-comfort. Sometimes it's food (yes, I did go there), sometimes it's shopping, or exercising (I have no idea what that's about!) or any number of things. But, rest assured, we all need comfort.

Our attempts to find comfort in this life are, at best, a stop gap measure. True comfort is found only in God. The 23rd Psalm talks of how He comforts us, but my favorite is 2nd Corinthians 1 where He is called the God of all comfort. We live in the physical world, in the here and now, and He understands that. That's why His comfort can sneak up on us and we don't even realize it's Him.

I remember, after the commander was in the explosion, riding in the lear jet on the way to the burn center in Salt Lake City. It had all happened so fast. I was plucked from my everyday life with my kids and thrown into a whirlwind of ambulances and hospitals and people everywhere. My kids weren't with me and I was completely alone, or so I thought. It was so loud in that little jet. The pilots and paramedics had headphones and mics so they could talk to each other, but I had nothing. About an hour into the flight I was, in my heart and in my head, searching for God to somehow make sense out of my current insanity. I remember thinking, "Lord, I am so alone! I feel so isolated. If only I had someone to talk to, even for just a moment!" The prayer was only just completed when all of a sudden, the paramedic who had completely ignored me the entire trip, turned around and asked me how I was doing, offered me a coke and assured me that the flight was almost over. I needed that little bit of human contact to keep me grounded and God knew that. I don't know if this man knew God or anything about Him, but God used him to bring me comfort in a desperate situation.

His word says he comforts us and then we can comfort others with that same comfort.(2Cor1:4)Southern women have long known how this works. When I was growing up, anytime anything happened to anyone, the answer was always to take over food! Someone have a baby? Make a casserole, Hospitalized? Pot roast is the answer. Stubbed toe? It's time for cake! (that one was always my favorite!) Of course, taking food over was only the excuse used to be there, to spend time, to listen, to cry with, rejoice with, to hold a hand, hug a neck, in short, just to comfort.

My aim, today, is to be a little bit of comfort to someone, somewhere, even if it's right here within my own home. Maybe it's just a touch, a smile, an understanding ear, and maybe, just maybe it's a meatloaf.

Gotta run, there's leftovers in the fridge and they won't heat themselves!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Does anyone have any Febreez???

It’s Monday night and I’m at church. Why, you ask? It seems Scamp was fortunate enough to arrive in town in time for the annual Kid’s Festival. So far, it’s going great and fun is being had by all. Do you ever wonder if God ever has Kid’s Festivals or do you think when He created this world His intention was for it to be one big festival? Stop for a minute and think about the garden of Eden; no dishes to be washed, no homework, no unmade beds, no cooking, not even any laundry! Right about now that’s sounding pretty much like a festival to me!

Kids continue to fascinate me. The other night Scamp, whose 5, was enthralled with watching a large spider spin a web. His dad, being a great dad, was explaining how it works, how the spider manages such a feat, what the purpose of the web is and other such fatherly things. I was thinking, as I listened, “what a wonderful teaching moment! What a great opportunity to talk to him about the wonders of God’s creation and how miraculously He has created all things!” I knew I was slightly off the mark when Scamp turns to his dad and says, “then why doesn’t Spiderman’s web come out his backside?”. How can you answer that? Really? Just what is the correct response to a statement like that? It never fails, when things are a little stressful, Scamp will say something that will shock and amuse me. Sometimes it’s like living with 3-D cartoon!

So, I find myself sitting in the church fellowship hall alone tonight. The kids are all having their fun, but I am craving a little solitude, a little time to shut out the world and center myself again. In a household of 5 guys, there is very little privacy. No matter what I do I cannot seem to put a stop to things such as belching contests during dinner, battle re-enactments in the living room, numerous name calling, and the desire and attempts to beat each other into submission through various wrestling moves. Sure, it’s all in good fun in the end, but it’s in the middle that just might get me! The funky boy smell alone sometimes is enough to stagger a horse. Right now I’m almost sure you could find a bathroom in my house that would rival any bathroom at any truck stop. I know the saying; “boys will be boys!” I live with it on a daily basis.

I learned a very important lesson early on in raising my boys. I cannot, no matter how hard I try, turn them into girls. I remember a time when they were 3,4,5 and 8 and the level of chaos seemed insurmountable. I just couldn’t understand why they had no interest in sitting and playing quietly. I didn’t ask them to play with dolls or any other such “girly” toys. I bought them trucks, I bought building blocks, I bought hot wheels and trains and construction sets. Did they sit and play nicely?? Nooooo! We had to use the construction sets to build cities with the blocks so the hot wheels, trucks and trains could crash through and destroy them. I realized one day, I was expecting them to act like girls. Being one myself, I can hardly be blamed for that little lapse, it’s in my genes. Once I relaxed and allowed the boys to be boys a lot of the stress faded, or at least some of it faded. It’s always stressful to find the cat in the dryer and peanut butter in the vcr. So began my journey into the world of little boys, of rocks and trees, of trains and leggos, of comic books and video games, of skinned knees and broken bones. But it has not been a journey without reward. There are no kisses on the planet to rival the kisses of an 8 year old boy, slightly sweaty, more than slightly dirty, smelling of pond water, wet dog and little green apples. They are given with an openness of heart found nowhere else on the planet. I may never be the mother of the bride, I may never plan a wedding, I may always have to have my nails and hair done alone, but I am the queen of my castle with a house full of loyal, if slightly smelly subjects and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Gotta run now, the bathroom needs cleaning. You do not want to know why!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor