Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Inside out? or Outside in?



But How Do You Show Him?

So you love God? Really?
How do you know? More importantly, how does He?
You go to church and sing worship songs,
but are you living inside out, or outside in?
Because if you’re living outside in, you’re wasting your time.
Your time, His time, our time.
As you strive to present on the outside a picture of what you
think you should be on the inside
Wasted time,
Wasted effort,
soul sucking, heart wounding, fear inducing, worry causing
waste of time and effort shriveling the truest you.
But if you’re living inside out, however that looks for you,
His love is made alive in your life.
He does the working,
you do the walking.

Love him, really love him.
Be captivated by him
Understand his heart
Learn his soul
Fall, yes, fall
fall from your pedestal of arrogance,
perfection is not worth the chase
fall on your face before him
because you can never fall from his grace.
Fall in love all over again, fall.

Listen, really listen
and more than that, actually hear
his heart as it sings
Its a song of delight at the thought of you
Don’t offer back, in the face of such pure devotion,
empty praises and meaningless phrases
designed to impress men.
Truth is what the lover of your soul most desires
Bring the truth as you see it
raw
ugly
shameful
real
your truth.
He will not change it
He will exchange it
When you begin to understand how he sees you
when you get a glimpse of what is his truth over you
that will confound you.
He looks, He sees
Beauty
Grace
Love
Goodness
Worthiness, yes, worthiness
Truth, His truth.
He exchanges your facts, for His truth.

You are worthy, beloved of the most high.
You are worthy because he says you are worthy.
He gave himself for you, withholding nothing
Saving no part of himself
emptied
depleted
poured out
leaving nothing left undone
Why?
Because he deems you worthy of such a sacrifice.

In the face of such all-consuming love
doubt melts
fear is banished
insecurity, pride, judgment
all vanish like the morning mist
and we are lost, forever, hopelessly lost
drawn by
consumed by
woven into
lost in
the very fibers of the heart of God

So how do we love him?
How do we show him that love?
We trust him with our truth,
we trust him with our brokenness
our pain,
our fear, confusion, doubt
we allow him to plumb the depths of our heart
and watch in awe of the treasures, the beauty, he brings out
not because we created them or are deserving of them,
but because he had already put them there
when he formed us
in our mother’s womb
lovingly,
carefully,
gently
with more tenderness than any artist has ever shown
with more purpose and intent than any composer bringing forth
the greatest musical masterpiece
the hands that spread the stars like rolling dice across the night sky
are the same hands that placed each eyelash,
each strand of hair
every freckle
every dimple
every nuance of your personality
the way you laugh
the way you smile
what amuses you
and what touches your heart and brings a tear.
Nothing escaped his careful, loving touch
and nothing, and I mean nothing
was or is ever left to chance.

What is required of us in exchange for this gentle intensity of love?

Nothing, and everything.
He requires that we be nothing more than what he has already made us to be.
He asks that we give him everything,
our wounds
our scars
our fears, doubts, screw ups, and failures
our hopes,
our dreams
our plans, efforts, schemes, and our attempts at our own righteousness.
He takes it all when we offer it
and in exchange offers back
life
pure, unadulterated, never ending life
not just later, but now
not just so we can float around on a cloud someday with a harp and wings,
but so that we may live,
really know what it is to live in every way possible
to live in ways we never knew were possible
to exist surrounded, suspended
by and in the majesty of this great love. 

For it is this love that is the power that holds all things together
It is by this love that the universe is kept in order
the planets kept on their course
the laws of nature function
the very atoms that make up the matter of all things are kept in line
and it is by and through this love
that our hearts continue to beat
our lungs go on drawing in air and
that we are granted life and breath.

So it is only right that with this life and
with this breath
we offer back to him our worship
true worship
not from a heart that bears no pain
not from a heart that knows no disappointment
or bitter regret
or loss
but from a heart that understands that despite these things
we are loved
purely
completely
profoundly
recklessly
intensely
eternally
loved.

So we trust him and we open to him
We offer back to him the very love he has showered on us
we learn his soul
understand his heart
desire his hand
but seek his face
and that, beloved of God
is how we love him.