I have kids, lots of kids. I am the very proud mother of 5 young men in various ages and stages of development, but the majority are teenagers. Things have changed since I was a teenager in more ways than I could have imagined they would. We now live in a world of computers and smart phones, internet, facebook and twitter, and the ability to be connected in ways that are sometimes, just plain crazy. I would have loved to have that as a teenager! I wanted to take just a minute and write a little note to teenagers and children everywhere. It's my blog, I can do that......
Dear teenagers everywhere,
We are your parents. We love you. We want the very best for you in every aspect of your life. However, that does not mean that we are your bank, your taxi, your maid or your cook. We are your parents. It's not our obligation to give you computers, phones, cars, game systems, or money whenever you want it for whatever you want it for. It's not our job to drive you and your friends all over town whenever and wherever you want and pay you way at the same time. It's not our job to clean up after you, to do all your laundry, to do all the housework, to cook all your meals while you do only what you want to do.
It is our job as parents to raise you, to teach you, to prepare you for life on your own. It is our job to make sure you have food to eat, a roof over your head and clothes on your back. It's not our job to make sure it's steak every night, a 10,000 sq ft mansion or designer clothes. If you want that, go get a job and buy your own steak, your own 200$ jeans and get your education that allows you to get the kind of job that buys you that mansion. That's not our job.
You are loved, never doubt that. Never doubt that, if I could, I would want to give you all these things and more, but I can't and if I could, I wouldn't. Why? Simply because you are loved. It is in the struggle that we grow and learn. We have all heard the story of what happens if you open a chrysalis for a butterfly. The wings don't mature and they can't fly. It's my job to be sure you can fly. Sometimes that means not giving you the things you want and think you deserve. Life is hard and you will never succeed if you are handicapped by having everything handed to you. If I could keep the house in perfect condition, fix you gourmet meals every night and make your life run perfectly I still wouldn't. Why? Because it would not be fair to you. It is by learning to take responsibility for the home you live in and the family you are part of that you are prepared for life as an adult. That doesn't mean that you are thrown to the wolves and left to fend for yourself at all times, but as you grow, more and more will be expected of you. That is the way it is.
So the next time you want something and you don't get it remember this; it's because you are loved. It would be easier to just hand over what you want and stop the barrage of of asking. Sometimes it's a little like being pecked to death by a flock of ducks. You are just as dead, it just takes longer and is much more tedious. But to give in would, in the long run, handicap you and you are too loved for me to allow that to happen. Sometimes you don't get what you want simply because we cannot afford it. Life is not perfect for us parents either, it's not perfect or easy, but that doesn't effect our love for you. There will be times when, because of that love, I will surprise you with money or that fancy pair of shoes you want or funds for that trip to the movies with your buds, but one thing must be understood. Those times will come more often if they are not expected. Oh, and gratitude is an awesome attitude and you will be surprised at how it can move the heart of a parent.
The bottom line is this: we will not be here forever. If you reach adulthood and are a responsible member of society, able to provide for yourself and the family God gives you, then we have been a success. If getting to that place means that you don't like me and don't understand me, then so be it. My heart is always for you. I will always believe in you. I will always be proud of you. I will never, and I mean NEVER stop loving you and, if all this means you grow up and want limited contact with me, my heart will be broken, but at least I will have done the job God entrusted to me. One day, when you are a parent you will understand, you will love, and you will do the same. It's hard, but it's the job of a parent.
Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor
