Tiny Sweaters and Shooting Eggs

Aaaaaaand, suddenly - it's fall! 
Where in the world did the time go?? It seems only yesterday it was spring.  I think it must be a sign of getting older.  When you're a kid, time seems to stretch out.  A school year last forever, the time between Halloween and Christmas is an eternity! Now that I'm older, I blink and 6 months have passed by before I can finish my morning coffee.  Change can be like that.  Sometimes it creeps in slowly and things are different before you realize it is happening, and then sometimes, things change drastically from when you go to bed at night and when you rise the next morning. 

Things have changed some around my house, aka Insanity Castle, in the last few months as well.  For one thing, we have a new member of the family.  Now before you all wonder how I managed to sneak a pregnancy by you, the new member has four legs and is quite a bit furrier than I am (though there have been times, but that's another story....).   Introducing the newest Bowden - Mac! (aka, little Mac, Macaroni, Maca-doodle-do, etc)

As you can see, he is making himself right at home.  He's a sweet little rescue kitty that has a quirky personality that fits right in with the "unusualness" of my home.  One thing he just couldn't seem to learn was to stay off of J's desk. 

Any of you who know J in r/l know he is slightly particular about how things are kept on his desk.  I admit I have resorted to placing a sign warning people not to touch it during the times I have had help cleaning.  The problem is, J's desk was in the perfect location for a cat to get a little sun.  It was right in front of, not one, but two windows through which the afternoon sun poured in.  It was like having two little kitty tanning beds.  Looking back, I really should have charged, I could have made a small fortune, at least in kibble and catnip. 

J, unfortunately, does not share in my entrepreneur spirit.  I cannot understand why he would not enjoy finding enough cat hair to knit a small sweater and the occasional piece of kitty litter adorning his workspace.  Some people I just don't "get".

After an eternity,  a millennium,  centuries,  decades,  years,  months several weeks of fussing and fighting the good furry fight, J gave up and went in search of reinforcements .  After a foray into our local PetSmart, J came home with a shooting egg.  No, that is not a typo, I did say a shooting egg, or at least that is the way he described it to me on the phone.  I wasn't sure what to expect!

I wasn't expecting the 12 inch, grey, plastic thing that was sitting on his desk when I got home.  It is sort of egg shaped, I guess.  In a weird sort of way.  I didn't see any tiny little guns so I wasn't sure where the shooting part came in.  I reached down to pick it up to have a closer look and it shot me.  I had been shot by a large, plastic, desk-sitting egg.  Thankfully it was only a blast of compressed air and a hideously startling noise!  Still, I jumped sky high, gave a little squeak gasped ladylike  and shrieked like a small child being chased by the boogie man!  It seems this little egg comes complete with a motion sensor that detects the movement of any small furry little sunbather and shoots it with a blast of air.  I have seen this is action and it is indeed, a sight to behold.  I didn't actually know that a cat could jump that high from a standstill.  Apparently, being shot with a violent blast of air accompanied by a huge hiss from a plastic egg is enough to make those of the feline persuasion take flight, quite literally.  That may be the only time I have ever seen a cat go all the way upstairs without actually touching a single stair. 

Now I may, or may not have moved the egg near where the cats were sleeping and I may or may not have sat and waited and watched until they moved just right and it went off.  I may or may not have laughed hysterically as they were ripped from their peaceful kitty slumber by a sound that, I'm sure, now haunts their little feline dreams.  And I may or may not have hurt myself with my excessive cackling.  (okay, that last part is definitely true.  I think I pulled something...) Confession time!  All of the above is actually quite true.  In my defense, it was completely hilarious!!  At this point, Mac will not even step foot in the office anymore.  He now leaves his hairy signature on the chair in my office! 

Here's the deal, this big scary monster, this huge terrifying creature, this invader of kitty lives and ingredient of haunting feline nightmares is, actually, quite harmless.  Sure, it makes a fearful sound and you certainly feel it's hateful breath tinge with sulfur from the fires of hell, okay, maybe I'm exaggerating on that last bit, but you do feel the puff of air it blows.  But that is it.  There is nothing else to it.  It does not actually have the power to do any real damage.  It cannot grab Mac or Koko or LR, who helped me clean my house, with tiny little plastic egg hands.  It is powerless.  So why is it successful?  How is it able to do it's job so well?  I'm so glad, dear reader, that you asked that question!

Little grey, plastic egg's power comes from its ability to make those around it believe it has the power to harm them.  AAhhhhh!  I hear the sound of 1000 light bulbs switching on all at the same time.  You see where I'm going with this?  It doesn't have to actually do anything.  It only has to make the cats believe that it is.  Those of you who are regular readers know that I am a little too "different" to leave it lay there.  There is a connection here.

It's all about faith, belief, and the power thereof.  You see, we are going to believe in something.  Either you are going to believe in God and His goodness or you are going to believe that the enemy has more power.  There really are no other choices.  There is no Switzerland in this debate.  You cannot remain neutral.  Either you are believing God or you are buying what the enemy is selling.  The enemy would love for you to believe he has power over you.  That is really all he has to do in order to have control over your actions.  He is powerless over a child of God, but if he can make you believe otherwise he wins.  Just like little Mac is too afraid of the shooting egg to step foot in that office again, so you become too afraid to step out after God because of your belief in the power of the enemy.  Your belief in the enemy's lies hands him the power of control over your life.

So, my challenge to you this week, my dear readers, is to reexamine just where your belief truly lies.  Are you saying you believe God but all the while, you are cowering before a little air blowing, funny noise making enemy? It's time we take stock in what we truly believe by examining our actions.  Psalms tells us that, as a man believes in his heart, so is he.  ( I don't know the reference, google it!) We can know what we truly believe by how we act.  So look around and see if you can spy any little plastic eggs in your life that keep you afraid to venture into places the Lord would have you go.

Till next time, I'll be here, herding cats and knitting tiny feline sweaters.  I'm thinking of putting them on ebay.  Any takers?????

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Hello, my angel

It's been over four years since we packed our boys up and moved to NC.  Sometimes it still feels like I am a newbie and other times, it feels as if I have lived here my entire life.  It was not easy at first, but we have managed to build a pretty good life here.  The boys are happy, the commander is settled and I can't imagine living anywhere else.  One reason life is good here is no one knows my past crimes,   I have good friends that became family.  I had only been here for a couple of months when I decided to join a small group at church run by a couple of women I had not yet met.  Lisa and Maria were quick to take me and treat me as if they had known me forever.  I made a special connection with Maria and I was blessed because that connection extended to her mother.  Mama Lucia took me at face value.  I have never had anyone love me that completely, that instantly.  Over the past 3 1/2 years I cannot count the times I have been blessed to spend time with her and it never failed that every single time she saw me there was a hug and a kiss and the greeting of "hello, my angel".  I miss my own mom.  She is an 8 hour drive away and I don't get to see her as often as I would like.  Sometimes you just need the kind of hug that only a mom can give you and it doesn't matter how old you are.  Mama Lucia jumped into that role with both feet, without a moment's hesitation.  It wasn't just me that was lucky enough to experience that.  Everyone in our group of friends knew that Mama Lucia was just that, Mama for us all.

Two weeks ago today, Mama Lucia got to go home.  I miss her and in some ways, I'm sure I always will.  Sometimes you meet people and you just know they will always have a special place in your life.  That was Mama L.

After my knee surgery a few years back, I was laid up for a couple of days.  Mama called to let me know she was bringing me dinner. I knew it would be something good and I knew there would be no broccoli involved.  She always laughed when I told her that broccoli was from the devil!  She was famous for her spaghetti. Scamp was only about 6 yrs old at the time and when he heard me tell her spaghetti sounded wonderful he started yelling something about meatballs! I have no idea where he got that because I don't do meatballs!  My spaghetti is dried noodles and sauce from a jar!  But Mama L heard him and when she and Dad got to the house a few hours later, it was with a bit pot of spaghetti with lots of meatballs!  To this day, Scamp will ask me to make meatballs.  I never have and now I'm sorry I never asked her how she did it.

Mama L had a smile that lit up the room.  It didn't matter what was going on, she smiled.  I can still hear her saying "well, you don't know to know!"  The only time I can remember ever seeing her in tears outside the presence of the Lord was when her daughter-in-law and her precious granddaughter had to fly to Romania on short notice due to a sudden death in the family.  Mama L worried about her babies, all her babies!  Even her tears were for others.

There will never be anyone to take the place of Mama Lucia.  I am blessed beyond measure to have known her and to have loved her and to have been loved by her.  The Lord decides who we will all be born to and I was blessed by his choice for my mother.  I am also blessed by His choice of a second mom for me.  I guess he knew I was such a case that it was going to take two for me!

I pray that each of you, my dear readers, are blessed to have your own Mama Lucia in your life.  There is something amazing about a mother's love and it is equally amazing when someone chooses to bestow that kind of love on you, not because they birthed you, but because they simply choose to.

So my heart is heavy today as I remember this special woman.  But I can't be too sad because I know where she is and how happy she must be.  There is no more pain, no more cancer, no more fear, or sadness or tears.  There is only joy and dancing.  I'll bet she's right in the middle of it all. She wouldn't be hard to find, she's probably the one doing the hustle!

I love you, Mama L and I miss you.  It's good to know you are now cheering for us from the sidelines.  Thanks for getting there early and saving us all a seat at the table.  Just remember to get me a seat far from the broccoli!  lol   

As always, I'm soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

                                                 

                                                   Mama Lucia on her wedding day

Lightnin' bugs, bare feet, and a challenge issued

I had a conversation recently that made me stop and think.  (I really hate it when that happens)  The subject was gratitude.  While everyone knows that I am grumpy  irritable gratitude challenged thankful in my own way, I realized this is an area of life I could definitely work on.  So, I have issued myself a gratitude challenge.  Every, single day for the next week I will post a blog about something I am thankful for.  My challenge to you, my readers, is to join me in this endeavor. 

Day 1

As I pondered just what I would post today and just what it is I am most thankful for, my mind ran the usual gamete of family and friends, life and health and such things as those.  I rejected each subject, not because I am not thankful for each of these things, but because that makes it too easy.  I could easy pick seven things right off the top of my head and declare my gratitude for each.  I am asking the Lord to open my eyes to the world around me and show me something every day that I may have overlooked.  It could be the window seat I find myself sitting in, or the fact that I come from a loud, passionate family that loves me.  It may be the way my children make me laugh till my belly hurts, or it may just be the dragonfly that I see outside the window that reflects the beauty of God in the world.  And so I pondered and I contemplated and I wandered the empty corridors of my brain for what seemed like ages as I waited for inspiration.  Then the familiar opening notes of a much-loved song were heard above my head (no, I'm not hearing things, they do play music in here, you know!) and I dodged the lightning bolt as inspiration finally made its appearance. 

I sat and listened as Ray Charles' distinctive voice, smooth as molasses and just as sweet, sang of my home state.  Georgia was on his mind and now it is on mine as well.  Having lived in different places in the country, and even in the world, I am aware of just how fortunate I am to have been born in the south.  I didn't have a perfect childhood, but really, who in the world did?  But today I choose to focus on the good, the good times, good friends, good experiences, good memories.  I am thankful to have been born into a family with both an older and a younger brother.  I am thankful my parents love me and wanted me.  I am thankful for long summer days at the pool under the hot southern sun.  I am thankful for little league and neighborhood kick-ball. I am thankful there were no computers or video games to seduce me to stay inside all day. I am thankful for fireflies (which we always called lightnin' bugs) kept in a jar over night as a night light.  I am thankful for time out in the country with my grandparents where I learned how to work in the garden and climb trees, shuck corn and shell butter

beans.  I am thankful there was always a dog or a cat and sometimes more than one of each around my house because I learned to care for things smaller than me. I am thankful for the memories of cool creeks and warm hugs, singing in the car and laughing till it hurt.  I am thankful I was lucky enough to have holidays with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents that loved me.  I am thankful I learned to sit on a porch quietly and watch the evening creep in as slowly and gingerly as a barefoot kid on the first day of summer.  That reminds me, I am thankful that I was barefoot more than not as I grew up in the south. 



I am thankful for where I come from.  Things weren't perfect, but things seldom are, but they are all part of who I am and who I am still becoming.  So today I choose to focus on the good things, the things I am most thankful for.  Today I will spend some time meandering among the memories of childhood adventures and family blessings.

What are you thankful for today?  What is it, big or small, that sings a melody of gratitude in your heart?  It may be a faint little tune like the sound of water from a distance creek or it may be a pounding, symphony that rocks your world.  It doesn't matter.  Whichever it is, I encourage you to take time today to stop and really listen to the music.  Learn the words to the song of gratitude your heart may be singing.  You may be surprised by just what it's saying.   And when you discover the title of your heart's song, share it with us.  Post it in the comments below or on the facebook link.  Let us share in your music of thankfulness.  You just may lift all of our spirits a little without even trying.

For now, I don't care if I am in Starbucks, I'm slipping off my shoes.  Now where did I put my lightnin' bug jar?  I know I'll need a night light tonight.......

As always I'm soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor 

My Contentment

Dirty dusty roads that stretch for miles,
winding through acres of dense pine.
Little boys coated wth summer's heat,
a mixture of sweat, dust and pond water,
climb trees to steal little green apples.
Little girls in multi-colored sundresses
host tea parties beneath sprawling magnolias.

Pecan pie and sweet potatoes,
creamed corn and sweet iced tea,
fried okra and buttermilk with cornbread,
all tastes of my homeland.

Graceful homes on tree-lined streets,
modern condos in an uptown penthouse,
Lazy days swatting flies while sittin on the front porch,
Fast paced business deals in a downtown corner office,

Like a siren's song you call to me.
Like the air I breathe you become part of me.
Should I stray, you draw me back,and I run like
a child returning to it's mother.
Such is the hold you have on my soul.

Yesterday and tomorrow make up our today.
Taking the best from our past, mixing it
with the promise of our future.
For all this is what makes up my South,
a land of "yes ma'm, and "yall come again"
of "respect your mama" or "I'll tan your hide".

A comfortable place, content to be what it is.
It feels no need to "put on airs".
A place molded by yesterday, looking towards tomorrow.
A warm inviting place, my soft place to land.
My home, my South.

TV Cables, Geeks, and Indiana Jones

I think I can officially say that I am settled in here.  We've been in our new not-quite-as-far-south-but-yet-just-as-southern home state for four years.  At times I can't believe we have been here this long, and at other times, it feels as if I have never lived anywhere else.  It was summer time when we landed here from that far away planet named Atlanta, and I guess this time of year just brings back memories from that time.  I have one particular memory that I have never shared here.  Only a few close friends have ever heard this story.  It has taken four years for me to put enough distance between myself and the happening to be able to write about it.  Here it is, in all its glory...

We have moved more times than I can now count.  Years ago, I actually figure up just how many different places we had lived since we married and, at the 10 year mark we were up to about a dozen.  It has settled down since then.  In all the times we have moved (4 being across the country moves), we had never used a moving company.  This time J's new company was paying for the move.  I didn't even have to pack.  Wonderful, I said!  Fantastic, I thought!  What could be easier, I mused?!  I loved not having to worry about loading the trucks.  It was great that we didn't have to drive that huge load across three states.  What a relief it was that I didn't have to worry about finding help to unload everything.  Yep! All those things were wonderful, but I will never do that again!  Four years later and there are still things that I have yet to find!  We were here for close to two weeks before we found the coffee maker.  It was shoved in a box with old kitchen rugs, a broken VCR, and some garden equipment.  What the heck?!? 

Another missing item was the cord for the tv.  The boy's tv managed to keep it's cord, but the one for the big tv was missing.  I decided that searching through 5,000 boxes looking for a 7$ cord was not the way I wanted to spend my afternoon.  So I headed off to the local electronics store.  Of course, in my brilliant, motherly wisdom, I grabbed the cord from the boy's tv and took it with me.  I wanted to be sure I got the right one.  Shoving it in my massively overstuffed   30lb  ridiculously packed slightly filled purse, I rushed out the door. 

Our little town is not that big.  It's no Mayberry, but neither could it be described as a thriving metropolis.  It's a nice little suburban town and, like all nice little suburban towns, it has its very own Radio Shack staffed by techno-savy teenagers with barely a dozen facial hairs between them.  It was into this domain of teen boy nerdom that I dared to venture.  I readily admit that I know nothing about electronics or cords or how to hook anything to anything, but I felt pretty confident this time because I had remembered to bring the other cord. 

It was so hot that day, I will never forget it.  It was the kind of hot that takes your breath away when you step out of the air conditioned car.  The humidity immediately caused my glasses to fog up.  I'm sure I resembled a female Mr Magoo as I blindly stumbled my way into the store.  I opened the glass door and as I stepped in I was hit by the unmistakable fragrance of Ax body spray, Clearasil and teenage testosterone.  As the mother of five boys, it is a scent I am well acquainted with.  It was fairly busy, or at least busy enough that the three sales associates were all tied up.  I use the term sales associates despite the fact that I'm pretty sure I have had things in my fridge that were older than a couple of them, and I know for sure none were older than my cat, though hopefully more adept with electronics than she was.  So I waited.  I wandered around the playground of electronic dreams trying not to let my impatience show, until finally someone was free to help me out.

The youngin' that approached me looked like such a sweet little boy.  I'm sure he was diligent in this, his first job.  He wanted to be helpful and polite.  The only problem was, he was so nervous he could hardly speak.  Sweat soaked his brow and his tongue seemed to get trapped in his braces.  I'm not sure he had been this close to a female since he was weaned.  Mind you, I was a good three feet away! "How can I help you?" he finally manged to stutter.  My urber efficient mother-mode sprang into action, after all, I had been here a while!  I was in a hurry!  I couldn't afford to waste time!  I reached into my purse without looking and, in a flash, whipped out the cord I had brought with me.  As I did, I explained "I need another one of these".  And that's when it happened.

In my haste, I had failed to pay close attention when grabbing that cord.  I had not been watching when I reached into my purse.  I had not been aware that the cord had become wrapped around a large, maxi-pad.  As I whipped it (and there is really no other way to describe it) out of my purse like Indiana Jones using his bullwhip on the bad guys, the maxi-pad ricocheted out like it had been shot from a slingshot.  In slow motion I watched in horror as it cartwheeled into the air over my head (the package said it had wings, but good grief!  I had no idea they were serious!) and made contact with the back of the bald head of a very large gentleman standing near me.  When it hit the floor the sonic boom created by such an overwhelmingly female item loosed in adolescent boy world, shattered the front store windows and set off car alarms three miles away.  Okay, slight exaggeration there.......  It only seemed that way to my ears.  The gentleman, whose shiny dome had been assaulted by my feminine projectile, turned around and looked down at the floor, at me, at the young man attempting to help me, and with a simple shake of his head, went back to the wonders of blue tooth speakers.  

The poor, stuttering, nervous, sweaty, terror-stricken, young man who had made the mistake of approaching me and offering his assistance, looked as if he just may faint.  I have never actually seen anyone turn those colors before.  Before he could pass out, thereby messing up my schedule further, I stuck the cord in his face and said "get me one of these".  Then I nonchalantly reached down, picked up my errant missile and crammed it back into my shoulder bag.  Johnny Electronic turned and practically ran to retrieve the correct cord.  He didn't hand it to me, though.  Secretly, I think he was afraid to get close enough!  He laid it on the counter at the register and then kind of pushed it towards me, took my money, mumbled something about wanting his mother and left me standing there without so much as a receipt, have a nice day or please don't ever return to this store.  So I took my cord, bagged it myself and prepared to make my retreat.  I held my head up high and defiantly stared in the eyes every male who dared to meet my gaze.  Most, having learned already that there are times when it's smartest to just not mess with a woman, simply moved out of my way.  One even held the door open for me.  Come to think of it, I may have heard it lock behind me.........

"Oooooo! is there more to the story?  Is there a lesson to be learned here??" 

Why, yes, dear reader, there most certainly is!  You see, my mistake was not that I took the cord with me, it was not in my choice of stores to visit, it was not even in my decision to carry feminine necessities with me.  Nope, my mistake was in the fact that I was in a hurry and I didn't pay close attention to what I was doing.  I was so mission oriented that I missed out on a crucial detail.  How many times have we all be guilty of doing the same thing?  We all get in a hurry.  Most of us lead busy lives, but how different would my experience have been if I had just slowed down a little?  I certainly would have spared myself a great deal of embarrassment.  And that is the lesson to be learned here, my lovelies.  It is important for us to remember that our schedule is not the most important thing and it may not be God's schedule for us at all.  Of course, a case could also be made for the lesson of always zipping those things into that little, otherwise useless, pocket on the inside of most purses, but I think that's a different blog.  I had someone quote Psalm 23 at me recently, and I mean it was quoted AT me, not to me.  Have you ever had someone do that before?  It can be very annoying, I'm not gonna lie, (you know who you are!!) but, once again, different blog!  The thing is, the verse that says "he makes me lie down beside still waters" jumped out at me.  It doesn't say that he asks us to lie down, or he invites us to lie down, or even that he suggest that we lie down.  Nope! He MAKES me lie down.  It would seem the Lord is familiar with our tendency to be on the run, on the go, never slowing down.  King David certainly seemed to understand or he wouldn't have written it this way. 

How many times have you found yourself so wrapped up in life and what you feel you need to accomplish that you end up wearing yourself out without reaching your goals?  Down time is critically important.  That is how the Lord made us and, according to the Psalm, He's not above forcing us to chill out a little.  Don't make my mistake. Don't let it take something like the flight of the phoenix to get your attention. 

So I challenge you this week to slow down.  Take a breather.  Chill out.  Calm down.  Hang loose.  Cool your jets.  Take a chill pill.  You know, just generally take time to rest.  Your family will thank you, your body will thank you, and maybe the quivering, young worker at your local electronics store will thank you too. 

Until next time I'll be here, making memories, chilling, and getting caught up in flights of fancy.  Trust me, that's the only that will be flying any time soon!!! 

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Does My Femininity Scare You?

I’ve got just a bit of a bee in my bonnet today.  Okay, I don’t actually wear a bonnet and haven’t since I was about 5 years old (I have pictures to prove it, it was white) and there is not actually a bee anywhere in sight, but I think you get the drift of what I mean.  I could say I have a bone to pick, but that’s just nasty.  I mean, who wants to pick at bones?!  I thought about getting on my soap box but, honestly, I’m afraid of heights so I thought it was best to stay away from that.  All that to say that I am mildly annoyed today and the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get.  Now I know some of you would just suggest that I stop thinking so much because, let’s be honest, it’s not an activity for which I am known to particularly excell.  All that to say, this is not the typical blog you, my dear readers, are accustomed to seeing from me.  I don’t have a funny story or any more witty remarks.  What I do have is something near and dear to my heart that has been weighing on me lately and I finally reached the point of needing to share it with you.  So, here goes……

I was having a conversation recently with a friend and the topic of opposite gender friendships came up.  This person, whom I greatly respect and admire, made the statement that, although there was someone of the opposite sex that they love like a sibling and would really love to sit down and have a one on one conversation with, they knew they could never do that because it would be inappropriate.  At first, I found myself agreeing with the wisdom of this statement.  I mean, how many of us would think it appropriate, if we are married, to sit down with a friend of the opposite sex and have a private conversation, be it in a coffee shop or a corner café? It’s better to be safe than sorry, right?  No need to court trouble, right?  We should avoid the appearance of evil, right?  

On the surface, all of this sounds reasonable, responsible even.  But is it really?  Let’s look a little closer at it.  Is it not a case of our over-sexualizing things?  If this person is my brother or sister in Christ, if I am happily married and committed to my spouse,  if I am being out in the open with everyone I am involved with, then why must I act as if I can’t be trusted to control myself?  Do we really believe that we are all so subject to moral failure that we must have no interaction with the opposite sex outside of a handshake across the aisle on Sunday morning?  Is this what Jesus modeled for us? 

Let me take a minute and make one thing very clear.  I am not talking about clandestine meetings, long hours spent completely alone working or traveling together, emails and text messages that are hidden from your spouse.  These things are dangerous.  If you find you are drawn to these types of activities I urge you to re-examine your relationship with your spouse and get the help you may need to strengthen your marriage.  Because once those boundaries are crossed, there is no going back and inevitably, great damage is done to all parties involved.  You must take precautions against affairs of the heart as well as of the body.  The first, so easily leads to the second.  

No, I’m talking about good, old-fashioned, life enriching, spiritually edifying friendships.  Why would we think that once someone is married they have no more need for relational input from anyone of the opposite sex aside from their spouse?  Jesus certainly did not act this way.  There are many stories of times he interacted with women, was alone with a woman, and even allowed a woman to touch him, which as a rabbi was unheard of!  Yet he didn’t shy away from entering into relationships with women.  He knew the motives of his heart were pure so it mattered not what anyone else thought.  When will we, as a church, decide to not allow anyone else dictate to us what is appropriate? 

This same friend looked at me completely aghast when I mentioned I had run into a gentleman from my church at Starbucks and we sat and talked for an hour at a table alone.  I say alone - we were in the middle of Starbucks!  Evidently, this could have given others reason to get the wrong idea.  It could have reflected badly on both of us.  I just don’t get it. I really don’t.  I am a happily married, totally committed, Christian woman who had coffee with a happily married, totally committed, Christian who just happened to be my brother in Christ instead of my sister in Christ.  How is that inappropriate?  How much have we missed out on because we have worried about what other people might deem inappropriate instead of what Christ says about it?

Once my eyes were open to this issue, I have seen it everywhere.  I see it in the side to side hugs or those hugs where you stand three feet away and lean in so that the only thing that ever really touches is the shoulders and arms.  In our desperate attempt to make sure that nothing could be construed as sexual, we have, in fact, made everything sexual.  Is it that we honestly believe that every man is just a ball of hormones walking around and every female is either on the prowl or so morally frail as to be vulnerable to being swept away by a genuine, love of Christ-filled hug across the pew during the meet and greet?  Once again, let me make clear, I am not advocating bumping and grinding across the aisles!  I am simply suggesting that we should be able to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ as if they were just that – our blood brothers and sisters.  No one would think anything was amiss if my brother gave me a good old fashioned squeeze.  And it would certainly raise no eyebrows for us to be seen sharing a table at Starbucks.  

I have a couple of guy friends and they enrich my life in ways that are different from my women friends.  I have varying levels of friendships with their wives and my husband and I also enjoy socializing with them as couples.  There has never been anything remotely approaching inappropriate in our relationships and it would rile my dander if anyone suggested as much.  We are the body of Christ and the body is not segregated.  We must use wisdom in all of our relationships, but we should never let fear dictate them.  I have heard reactions on the level of the red scare of the 50’s and 60’s!  

We do a disservice to each other when we act as if we are untouchable.  When a Christian brother deems it unsuitable to give me a hug or have a private conversation, it sends a very quiet, but definite message.  On the surface, you could say that it is a sign of honor and respect, but is it really?  I would argue it could be construed as just the opposite.  It could be seen as a sign that my femininity cannot be trusted. Either he is prone to being morally compromised, or my femininity is a dangerous entity that could draw him in and make him fall into sin.  

The body of Christ needs men and women who will embrace their masculinity and femininity in its purest form, not a perverted sexualized version, but the beauty and strength each is meant to have by the design of the creator.  It is the interaction of the two that gives the body depth and color.  Without it we become two, flat, one-dimensional halves of what should be a vibrant, living community.

 

So I challenge you, my faithful readers, to take a good look at how you relate with all of the members of the body of Christ.  You may very well be greatly enriched in ways you would have never expected when you let your walls down and stop being afraid to relate on a heart level with those of the opposite sex in the pew across from you.  

Until next time I’ll be here, doing what I usually do.  You know, chasing kids and dogs, refereeing teenage dramafests and generally trying to restore peace and order to the world, all while figuring out who all these teenagers are and why they keep calling me Mom!!  

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor

Seasonal Lessons and Planting Seeds

Hi y'all!  It's been a while since I posted anything new.  You know how it goes, so many things seem to make demands on our time - kids, work, school, laundry, housework, homework, cooking, cleaning, shopping, slopping the hogs, milking the cows, herding the cats - you get the picture... So it has gone in the house of madness, aka my home.  But summer is in sight, which brings with it a whole new set of challenges, but most of them seem easier to handle when I don't have to rise before dawn cracks.  Mumbles graduates in just about a week or so and suddenly, I find myself with more kids out of school than in school.  How in the world did that happen?!  I feel pretty old about now especially since I found myself, in all honesty, saying yesterday "Where did the time go? It seems only yesterday...."

There are always seasons in life and so it is that I find myself heading into a new one....again.  It's a good thing, though, this new season thing.  Everybody has them, the real question is - What are you going to learn from it?  There are a couple of things I learned during this past season of life. If you go off on vacation and you leave the thermostat in the house set at 45 degrees, all of your tropical fish will be dead when you return (thanks, honey).  If you leave the window open, you know, the one without a screen over the garage, the one the SECOND FLOOR, the stupid cat is going to fall out of it (he's fine! don't send me mean emails, it wasn't my fault!).  If the 4yr old next door comes over to play and the mom knows but the dad doesn't know and then the mom leaves to run errands without telling the dad where the 4 yr old is, then when the cops come, you will be questioned as a suspect in a kidnapping (true story, I can cross that off my bucket list!).  I also learned that if you depend on your teenagers to pick up their little brother, at one point, someone is going to forget, leaving him stranded at the school until they call multiple people and finally reach someone just as they are about to call child protective services.  I learned if you knock a two liter of soda off the kitchen counter you will get a volcano which will spray Dr. Pepper into every nook and cranny on the lower floor of your house.  So you see, as this season of having multiple smelly, creative, nasty, adventurous, loving, dirty, rowdy, hyper-active boys is winding down I have learned many things.  I'm now an expert in drywall repair. I can bandage a knee, pull a loose tooth, make a mean pb&j, pack a lunch, help with homework and make a pot of coffee all at the same time, and usually before breakfast. 

There are seasons in our walk with our heavenly Father as well.  Sometimes it's spring and all is new and bright and beautiful and then sometimes, it's summer and the heat sucks the strength out of you. Then it's fall with it's cool refreshing but inevitably, that leads into the cold, deadness of winter. And yet, each of these seasons has something wonderful about it.  Without the contrast of winter, we could hardly appreciate the newness of spring.  So it is as we grow in the things of the spirit.  There are seasons of being so aware of His closeness that we expect to see him standing there if we can only turn around quick enough, and then, there are the other times.  You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones no one likes to admit happen in the lives of Christians everywhere, the times when the heavens seem silent and the Lord seems to not even be in the same zip code!  I have been pondering just such a season as of late, wondering why a loving God would seemingly withhold himself?  I had a pretty smart guy (oh my lawd! DO NOT tell him I said that!!) tell me recently that God uses silence to build our faith.  It's a good thing he was not in the room with me when he said that.  As it was, he was too far away to be hit by the things I had at hand to throw.  I guess you could say I didn't like that answer. But after giving it a little bit of thought, it seems, unfortunately, to make sense.  How can our faith grow if it is never exercised?  And how can it be exercised if the object of our faith is always in our sight?  Notice I said "in sight".  The Lord never leaves us, but that doesn't mean he promises to stay where we can see him.

Then there are the times when he is there, I can see him, but it's like one of those group dates you see on that bachelor dating show.  You know, the one where they send one guy out with 20 girls on a "date".  Yeah, that seems like a good idea! Nothing could go wrong with that one!  But I digress... Have you ever had those times with the Lord?  He's there, you can see him, you can even talk to him, but it's missing something. It seems to be surface level almost, not heart level.  It's like being stuck in the friend zone with the guy/girl you keep trying to get to go out with you.  Being close like that makes you crazy!   I'll tell you what else it does, it makes you hunger for more.  Have you thought that maybe that's the point of what the Lord is trying to do? Increase our hunger?

What season are you in right now? Are you in the newness of spring or the seemingly barrenness of winter?  The wilting heat of summer or the coolness of fall?  Are you on a group date? or did you get that rose and are now heading out for your one-on-one?   It's all about seasons.  If you're in a good one, an easy one, enjoy it, it won't last forever.  If you're in a rough one, hang on, it won't last forever.  Learn what he has for you in each season.  Make it count.  I can think of few things worse that going through that winter without planting the bulbs so you get your flowers in the spring.  Don't miss an opportunity to grow in faith, to learn of him, to plant those seeds that will sprout into fruitfulness when spring arrives. For it always does, my dear readers, never fear, His spring always returns. 

So until that time, I'll be here, repairing dry-wall, packing lunches, heading cats, adoring my boys and planting seeds.  This year, I'm thinking of putting in rose bushes, lots of rose bushes...........


Till then, I'll be soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Marriage, bears, and the time I nearly became dinner

This weekend the commander and I are away at the marriage retreat sponsored by our church.  We are at the Billy Graham Training Center in Asheville, NC and it is amazingly beautiful!!  Nestled in the mountains with stunning panoramic views, peaceful, bubbling streams, and a sense of peace that pervades every inch, it is the perfect place to detach from every-day life and reconnect with the one God gave you to walk with.  There is, however, one drawback to this scenic beauty - there is wildlife. Everywhere.  Everyone who knows me well and, in fact, anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes, knows I have a well-documented issue with bears.  My main problem being, they will eat you.  They are from the devil, everyone knows that.  God put bears on the earth to show us what sorts of things inhabit the nether regions of the underworld.  Anyway, you get the picture.
Last night we had our first session here.  We meet in a building just a little ways up the mountain from where we are staying, but they graciously provide a shuttle to take us back and forth.  It was a great meeting with an interesting, engaging speaker and despite being exhausted from the drive and such we really enjoyed ourselves.  Afterwards, there were snacks downstairs and plenty of time to sit and talk and enjoy ourselves.  Eventually, it was time to head back to our room and here's where things got dicey.  You see, I wanted to wait for the shuttle, but the commander wanted to walk. W.A.L.K!  In the dark, at night, in the woods, in the mountains, where there are bears!  (see above)  It's amazing how quickly all those lovely words about giving yourself for your spouse, about doing things just because it makes them happy, about putting them first can disappear. Gone, every. Last. Word.  When bears are involved, all bets are off!  The thing is, the Holy Spirit can be very difficult to work with at times and though I tried and tried to ignore him, he continued to nudge and nudge and scream in my ear  whisper softly to my heart to step out of my comfort zone and do something my nature loving husband enjoys.  I have nothing against nature, I enjoy nature.  I could stare out the window at it all day long!  Eventually, I could not ignore it any longer so I agreed to make the dangerously epic journey back to the lodge.  Yes, you heard me, I was willing to make the 1/4 mile trek through the bear infested woods, straight down the side of a mountain, in the dead of night back to the safety of the room, all for the love of a certain bald man, despite his scoffing at my bear issue!  Imagine my horror, my abstract terror, when we reached the trail head to find a sign informing us about the BEARS!!  The commander was quick to point out the part that described the furry monsters as "shy" and "non-aggressive".  My problem is, with my luck we would run into the one bear in these mountains with PMS!  I'm pretty sure that I am the equivalent of chocolate to a PMS'ing bear.  I've been told if I ever meet a bear, I don't have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than the one I'm with!  The only thing bad about that is the commander can run laps around me so I would be pretty much toast! And yet love drove me onward, well, love and the fact that by this time we had missed the last shuttle.  I was quite proud of myself when, a mere 15 minutes later, I had completed my epic adventure of walking 1/4 mile, on a wide, graveled, well-lit path, all the way back to my room.  I was proud and my husband was happy.  There's still no need for him to start planning our next outdoor quest, but I'm making baby steps. 

Now, dear readers, those of you familiar with my writings know there is always more to the story and this is no different.  I had come to the mountains to reconnect with my husband, to disconnect from life for just a little while.  I came to step into relaxation and peace. I did not come to step out of my comfort zone, but I am glad that I did.  It made me think and you all know how much I hate it when that happens.  How many times has the Lord brought something to us that is out of our comfort zone and we run the other direction?  How many adventures have we missed out on because of fear and trepidation?  I have to say that I am taking that lesson home with me this weekend.  It has been about more than just my marriage, it has been about me, and I guess that ultimately impacts my marriage.

So, my challenge to you this week, my friends, is to find you comfort zone, define the parameters and then jump right out of them!  You may be surprised what you may learn about yourself, those around you and the Lord himself. 

The next time someone says "there's bears in them woods" I can proudly reply, "maybe, but I'm not afraid!"  At least, there was this one time...........

Till next time, I'll be here reconnecting, disconnecting and staring at nature........... from my window!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Guard Duty and an Unattended Ham Sandwich

Imagine, if you will, a quiet afternoon.  The rain is falling softly outside my window.  I tucked in at my desk with a nice up of coffee and my schoolwork.  I can hear my music playing quietly and one of my boys stirring around in the kitchen.  My house is actually in a state of being fairly neat and tidy, if only because we had guests over this past weekend for the superbowl and the boys haven't had quite enough time to destroy it yet.  The overall picture is one of contentment and peace.  If you know me, at all, you know it wasn't meant to last....

As I sat at my desk delving into the wonders of the different methods of behavioral research (insert sarcasm here! ugh!), I was jarred from my peaceful contemplation by a sound that everyone who has ever owned an animal or a small child knows well. (yes, I realize you cant own a small child.  don't write me letters...)  It was the sound that usually comes in the middle of the night and makes you reach for your slippers before putting your feet on the floor.  It is the sound made when something has been ingested that a small tummy somewhere is not too happy about.

Those of you who have spent time here, in the scary alleyways of my brain, are aware of some of the many animals I share my home with.  (no, I'm actually not including my children in that statement!) This time I'm referring to the four-legged, furry ones.  This time, it was Koko, the once stray now dearly loved grey tabby that routinely makes my life crazy.  It is from the devil, the sound! Not Koko! (though some of the sounds and smells that come wafting from the general vicinity of the little box most definitely have their origins somewhere in the nether regions, but that's for another post)   I first heard it coming from the kitchen region, then just a few seconds later, from the hallway area, very shortly after that, he hit the dining room.  I refused to even get up and move that direction until the sounds ceased.  I had to hear them and I had to deal with the outcome, I didn't want to see it action!  Right about that time, Monkey boy came back down the stairs and announced to the world what the sounds had already told me.  Then, my luck changed.  Monkey Boy said "eewww! he's choking on a bunch of lunch meat!"  Lunch meat???  Where did the cat get lunch meant???  Did he grow a couple opposable thumbs and can open the refrigerator?  Nope, there was no evidence of evolution at work here.  It was simply a case of Monkey Boy making a sandwich and then running upstairs to get something and leaving aforementioned cat luring culinary delights unattended on the counter.  Once I got over my irritation about the fact that the cat was on my kitchen counter I realized I was off the hook for the clean up.  Monkey Boy is the one that caused the mess so he was the one that got to clean it up.  (score one for me) 

Is this just a cute  gross little story about cat puke and distracted teenagers?  Nay, my dear readers! There is a lesson here, believe it or not.  (I know some of you are sitting there thinking "where in the name of all that is holy is she going with this story?!  admit it!)  Let's look a little closer at this whole anecdote.  The problem did not originate with Koko and his insatiable hunger for all things deli. No, the problem came about because the meat was left unattended.  Koko was simply following his nose and his instincts.  He was just hanging out, prowling around seeking what he may devour.  (see where I going now???)  If Monkey Boy had had been a little more intentional about guarding his lunch for out of it flows the wellspring of life, this would never have happened.  (how about now???  get it now??) 

The point is, there are many things we have, peace, contentment, joy, health, relationships, but mostly our heart, that deserve to be guarded.  The word tells us in 1Peter 5:8 that we have an adversary who prowls around as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.  That is one reason why the Lord instructs us in Proverbs 4:23 that we should "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  We have been given wonderful gifts from the Lord, gifts of abundant life, joy, peace, so many things flow from his heart to ours.  It is important for us to consciously guard against the enemy who would love nothing more than to sneak in and devour.  Monkey Boy made his mistake by leaving his sandwich unattended, or unguarded and Koko devoured it.  What followed was a mess of epic proportions but he learned to be aware of the domesticated lion-ett who roams our house seeking what he may devour! 

This week, I would challenge you, my dear reader to be aware of the lion-etts in your life.  Make an intentional effort to guard your heart from those who would devour it with strife, gossip, bitterness, anger, or a multitude of other unnecessary and unpleasant things.  Become aware of what's in there.  It's hard to guard something you don't know, now isn't it?  Let the Lord show you where your weaknesses are, where the wounds that weaken your heart are.  That is where the enemy is going to target you, in your weaker areas, but in your weakness He is made strong.  So dust off that armor and take a stand in defense of your heart.......and your lunch.  Because a point could be made for the importance of them both!

Until next time, I'll be here chasing kids, herding cats and buying more lunch meat!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor