My house is so much quieter than it was 10 minutes ago. No, the power did not go out, the game system didn't break, no one is asleep, the dog didn't die. My oldest three children have left to visit their grandparents. I'm trying to convince myself of how much I can get done with only two kids in the house, of how much I'll enjoy the peace and quiet, of how relaxing it will be. I'm sure all that will be true once they have completed their 7 hour drive and are safely at their destination. There's something about watching three teenagers drive off together that's a little disconcerting. I know we serve a good and loving God and he ordains everything that comes into our lives. I know he love my boys even more than I do but it's still so hard to let them go.
I was looking at pictures yesterday as I unpacked, of all the boys when they were so little. When did I get so old?! How could time have passed so quickly? I remember when they were newborn, 1yr old, 2yr old and 5yrs old............ wait for it..............all at the same time!!!! My house was always messy, always loud, always chaotic and I thought it would never end! I remember days on end where all I ever saw were the tops of little blond heads. It was an endless round of diapers, sippy cups, bottles, tears, and Blues Clues! I thought I would lose my mind and I'm not quite convinced that on some level I didn't. You have no idea what I would give to have that chaos back again!
After our move from Wyoming 6 years ago God showed me something I never realized about myself. I had missed the last year I had lived in Wyoming dreaming about being in Georgia. My focus was so set where I would be, I couldn't enjoy where I was. I regretted that later. How many sunsets did I miss, how many sledding trips did I miss? How many times did I not slow down and savor life because I was so concerned with what was coming up ahead? When I move from where I am now, sometime off in the future, I want to be able to say I lived every day here completely and fully. My heart, however, will still be bruised from the fact my boys decided to grow up instead of staying little boys.
They're gone for 6 days. What in the world am I going to do with all the family sized everything in my kitchen?????
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
The schoolboard must be childless!
Just as I promised, I was back in church yesterday. It was good, really good. We found a place filled with real people serving God. The brothers had mixed reviews. Some thought it was good, some thought it was just ok and one had no comment what so ever. That's to be expected. Surfer Dude really, really doesn't want to like it so even if he does, he's not going to admit it. I think the fact that he had no comment can only be seen as a good thing. More on this later.....
Today is going to be jam packed. I have to get the kids registered for the strange school system we now find ourselves living in. First, I have to take Scamp and get him registered for Kindergarten at his "base" school. There is an elementary school less than 2 miles from the house. Is that his "base" school???? Oh no! That would be entirely too easy! We get to drive 15 minutes away to a different town to find his school. The fun doesn't end there. His base school is a year round school. So, if I want him to be on the same schedule as his brothers I have to then go immediately and request a transfer to the traditional schedule school for our neighborhood, also in a different town. If we don't get the transfer approved then I have to go back to the base school and find out what "track" he will be on. It seems it's not enough to have a year round option, we have to have 4 different schedules for year round, all with different starting and ending dates and different holiday dates and everything. After I finish with Scamp, I get to do the whole thing over again with Monkey Boy for middle school! All I can say is my kids had better come out of all this a lot smarter than they are going in! Thankfully, the high school is in our town and only has one traditional schedule.
I really need to spend the day at home recovering ground lost during the weekend. It seems the movers forgot to bring the laundry fairy. I am always amazed at how much laundry can be generated in one short weekend. On the upside, I do love my new washer and dryer. The dryer has a steam setting and I may be inspired to throw my iron in the garbage.
I need to go furniture shopping as well. Yes, we did scale down to a smaller house, but I still need a couple of things. Anyone know where I can get a roll top desk for not too much money? The commander doesn't have an office space in this house and that is the solution I have come up with. That way, when his clutter takes on it's usual epic proportions I can just close the top!
Why does my cat love to sleep on my lap top? I am getting tired of having to get the hair off of it every morning before I can use it!
I'm going to put on my waders and enter the world of laundry. If I'm not out by tomorrow, send in SWAT.
Soaked in Him
Spokenfor
Today is going to be jam packed. I have to get the kids registered for the strange school system we now find ourselves living in. First, I have to take Scamp and get him registered for Kindergarten at his "base" school. There is an elementary school less than 2 miles from the house. Is that his "base" school???? Oh no! That would be entirely too easy! We get to drive 15 minutes away to a different town to find his school. The fun doesn't end there. His base school is a year round school. So, if I want him to be on the same schedule as his brothers I have to then go immediately and request a transfer to the traditional schedule school for our neighborhood, also in a different town. If we don't get the transfer approved then I have to go back to the base school and find out what "track" he will be on. It seems it's not enough to have a year round option, we have to have 4 different schedules for year round, all with different starting and ending dates and different holiday dates and everything. After I finish with Scamp, I get to do the whole thing over again with Monkey Boy for middle school! All I can say is my kids had better come out of all this a lot smarter than they are going in! Thankfully, the high school is in our town and only has one traditional schedule.
I really need to spend the day at home recovering ground lost during the weekend. It seems the movers forgot to bring the laundry fairy. I am always amazed at how much laundry can be generated in one short weekend. On the upside, I do love my new washer and dryer. The dryer has a steam setting and I may be inspired to throw my iron in the garbage.
I need to go furniture shopping as well. Yes, we did scale down to a smaller house, but I still need a couple of things. Anyone know where I can get a roll top desk for not too much money? The commander doesn't have an office space in this house and that is the solution I have come up with. That way, when his clutter takes on it's usual epic proportions I can just close the top!
Why does my cat love to sleep on my lap top? I am getting tired of having to get the hair off of it every morning before I can use it!
I'm going to put on my waders and enter the world of laundry. If I'm not out by tomorrow, send in SWAT.
Soaked in Him
Spokenfor
Friday, July 23, 2010
A shout out to my buds, you know who you are!
The Point of Friendship
as it prepares to take flight?
Their eyes no longer fixed on the ground
the clouds alone are in their sight.
But once they have taken to the wing
and started their assent.
You'll notice something different,
an extrodinary event.
They fall quickly into formation.
Not one is out of line.
They willingly follow their leader.
It's a plan of God's design.
There's nothing special about the one
who stepped up to show the way.
He'll lead his flock for a while
though the skies be blue or grey.
For today he is the strong one
the one ready and able to lead.
But as his strength starts to wane
someone else steps in and they proceed.
You see the leader at the point
struggles against the headwind
softening the way for the others
and thats why I think of you, my friend.
Like the beautiful geese over head
follow their maker's master plan
you go before me, softening the wind
making it easier for me to stand.
Thank you for the love and support
I see shinning from your face.
When you get tired and need a break
I'll be there to take your place.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Compound W Anyone???
We attended church last night.
I know that shouldn't seem like a big deal since we are, in fact, a family of believers, but it was a big deal. For the boys and me it was the first time ever setting eyes on the building. In my imagination it went from being a heavenly oasis filled with white robed people playing harps and saying "God bless you, sister" to a clapboard shack filled with Bible thumping, sweating people hollering while they handled their snakes, to everything in between. For the boys it went from....well, it didn't go from anything to anything. In their minds it was sure to be a place filled with perfect teenagers with perfect clothes who were stuck up snobs who, of course, couldn't be bothered to give them the time of day. It was, in fact, neither. It was simply a building, a very average one at that, filled with people just like us, people who love God and are trying to do the best they can to follow Him. I will stop just short of saying this is the church God is putting us in, but it does appear this is the way He is leading us.
That fact is what is so scary to me.
I know I am not alone in the types of thoughts that were/are running through my head. What will these people be like? Will they like me? Will I fit in? Is there a place for me to serve here? I found I was as nervous as a kid entering a new high school the first day. Do you remember those feelings? I am an adult, a mother of 5, married for almost 20 years and yet I still struggle with the same insecurities and self-doubt as I did as a teenager. If this is the church home God has for us and I screw it up I'm sunk!
I don't think I fully realized the importance of friendships and relationships with other Christians until I found myself without them. I know I retain the support and love from my friends back in Georgia, but they are just that, back in Georgia. It's kind of hard to call one up and say "hey! let's go grab some coffee! I can be at Starbucks in 7 hours or so!" Starting over is just plain hard!
I am so thankful that I don't have to start over with God. He already knows me, warts and all, and He loves me anyway. I have a feeling there will be people in our new church who will feel the same way, people He will put me in contact with who will look past my shortcomings to see the person He is making me into. My struggle will be to open my heart and let that person shine through. A friendship is not a true friendship until that happens. How can you be friends with someone who doesn't let you see the real person inside. So, my goal will be to be myself, with all my weirdness and goofiness, with all my shortcomings and failures, with all my gifts, my triumphs, my scars, my good qualities and my bad. That is never an easy thing to do, put yourself out there like that, but I know God is gracious to me and, although I'm sure there are times He simply shakes His head at me and wonders what He got Himself into, He hasn't thrown me to the wolves yet. So, I'll be back at church when Sunday rolls around, ready to meet more people and try to open my heart again. If you're in the area you should stop on by. Just leave your snakes outside and don't bother to cover your warts. Mine will be showing as well.
Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor
I know that shouldn't seem like a big deal since we are, in fact, a family of believers, but it was a big deal. For the boys and me it was the first time ever setting eyes on the building. In my imagination it went from being a heavenly oasis filled with white robed people playing harps and saying "God bless you, sister" to a clapboard shack filled with Bible thumping, sweating people hollering while they handled their snakes, to everything in between. For the boys it went from....well, it didn't go from anything to anything. In their minds it was sure to be a place filled with perfect teenagers with perfect clothes who were stuck up snobs who, of course, couldn't be bothered to give them the time of day. It was, in fact, neither. It was simply a building, a very average one at that, filled with people just like us, people who love God and are trying to do the best they can to follow Him. I will stop just short of saying this is the church God is putting us in, but it does appear this is the way He is leading us.
That fact is what is so scary to me.
I know I am not alone in the types of thoughts that were/are running through my head. What will these people be like? Will they like me? Will I fit in? Is there a place for me to serve here? I found I was as nervous as a kid entering a new high school the first day. Do you remember those feelings? I am an adult, a mother of 5, married for almost 20 years and yet I still struggle with the same insecurities and self-doubt as I did as a teenager. If this is the church home God has for us and I screw it up I'm sunk!
I don't think I fully realized the importance of friendships and relationships with other Christians until I found myself without them. I know I retain the support and love from my friends back in Georgia, but they are just that, back in Georgia. It's kind of hard to call one up and say "hey! let's go grab some coffee! I can be at Starbucks in 7 hours or so!" Starting over is just plain hard!
I am so thankful that I don't have to start over with God. He already knows me, warts and all, and He loves me anyway. I have a feeling there will be people in our new church who will feel the same way, people He will put me in contact with who will look past my shortcomings to see the person He is making me into. My struggle will be to open my heart and let that person shine through. A friendship is not a true friendship until that happens. How can you be friends with someone who doesn't let you see the real person inside. So, my goal will be to be myself, with all my weirdness and goofiness, with all my shortcomings and failures, with all my gifts, my triumphs, my scars, my good qualities and my bad. That is never an easy thing to do, put yourself out there like that, but I know God is gracious to me and, although I'm sure there are times He simply shakes His head at me and wonders what He got Himself into, He hasn't thrown me to the wolves yet. So, I'll be back at church when Sunday rolls around, ready to meet more people and try to open my heart again. If you're in the area you should stop on by. Just leave your snakes outside and don't bother to cover your warts. Mine will be showing as well.
Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Home again, home again, jiggiety jig
We returned in the wee hours of Sunday morning to the house in which we now live. I am trying to convince myself to call it home, but I'm just not there yet. There are boxes everywhere you look and I can't find anything! We have still not found our coffee maker and anyone who knows the commander knows what a terrible tragedy this is! I have learned I have a "two-butt kitchen" and since I have one and a half myself, this doesn't leave much room for anyone else. My oldest child, we'll call him Viking, and I became wedged between the fridge and the island. It took the whole rest of the family and half a tub of crisco to free us. I think I'm still leaving a trail like a slug everywhere I go. We have a gorgeous gas fireplace in our family room and I can't wait to use it this fall. Of course, we have no idea how to turn it on and can't seem to get a hold of anyone who can tell us how. We also have a phenomenal pool in the neighborhood. From this side of the fence it looks like amazing fun. Of course, we have to look at it from this side of the fence as the pool key seems to be lost with the instructions on how to start the fire! We do love our new house, though. It's especially nice since the kids haven't had time to destroy it yet.
This move came straight out of the blue. In the past, we've had moves that were all about us, but this one?... this one's all on God! This is not the route I had expected us to take this summer. The gentle plains of Wyoming with it's sagebrush, non-stop winds, and winter snowstorms is where I thought I'd be living by now. How in the world did I end up in North Carolina??
How many times in life do we set our eyes on a goal or a destiny that we know God has for us? I am learning it's so easy sometimes to be so fixated on the destination I forget to keep my eyes on the Leader. I still believe we will end up back in Wyoming, I just never expected God to go east to get there! So, my goal has changed. My goal is no longer to make it to Wyoming (don't pass out commander). My goal, now, is to keep my eyes on Christ fully, firmly and completely, not briefly and distractedly as I gaze westward. That's a recipe for trouble, that's how you run into a ditch, or a barbed wire fence depending on whose land you're wandering.
As of now, we are all doing ok, not great yet, but ok, and I have learned to live with that. Life will be great again, my house will be organized again, my kids and I will have friends again and life will get back to normal, a new normal, but normal all the same. In the meantime, I'll be the one brewing coffee over the small fire in the back yard. Maybe someone could point out the closest Starbucks???? please?!
This move came straight out of the blue. In the past, we've had moves that were all about us, but this one?... this one's all on God! This is not the route I had expected us to take this summer. The gentle plains of Wyoming with it's sagebrush, non-stop winds, and winter snowstorms is where I thought I'd be living by now. How in the world did I end up in North Carolina??
How many times in life do we set our eyes on a goal or a destiny that we know God has for us? I am learning it's so easy sometimes to be so fixated on the destination I forget to keep my eyes on the Leader. I still believe we will end up back in Wyoming, I just never expected God to go east to get there! So, my goal has changed. My goal is no longer to make it to Wyoming (don't pass out commander). My goal, now, is to keep my eyes on Christ fully, firmly and completely, not briefly and distractedly as I gaze westward. That's a recipe for trouble, that's how you run into a ditch, or a barbed wire fence depending on whose land you're wandering.
As of now, we are all doing ok, not great yet, but ok, and I have learned to live with that. Life will be great again, my house will be organized again, my kids and I will have friends again and life will get back to normal, a new normal, but normal all the same. In the meantime, I'll be the one brewing coffee over the small fire in the back yard. Maybe someone could point out the closest Starbucks???? please?!
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