They grow up while you sleep

My house is so much quieter than it was 10 minutes ago. No, the power did not go out, the game system didn't break, no one is asleep, the dog didn't die. My oldest three children have left to visit their grandparents. I'm trying to convince myself of how much I can get done with only two kids in the house, of how much I'll enjoy the peace and quiet, of how relaxing it will be. I'm sure all that will be true once they have completed their 7 hour drive and are safely at their destination. There's something about watching three teenagers drive off together that's a little disconcerting. I know we serve a good and loving God and he ordains everything that comes into our lives. I know he love my boys even more than I do but it's still so hard to let them go.

I was looking at pictures yesterday as I unpacked, of all the boys when they were so little. When did I get so old?! How could time have passed so quickly? I remember when they were newborn, 1yr old, 2yr old and 5yrs old............ wait for it..............all at the same time!!!! My house was always messy, always loud, always chaotic and I thought it would never end! I remember days on end where all I ever saw were the tops of little blond heads. It was an endless round of diapers, sippy cups, bottles, tears, and Blues Clues! I thought I would lose my mind and I'm not quite convinced that on some level I didn't. You have no idea what I would give to have that chaos back again!

After our move from Wyoming 6 years ago God showed me something I never realized about myself. I had missed the last year I had lived in Wyoming dreaming about being in Georgia. My focus was so set where I would be, I couldn't enjoy where I was. I regretted that later. How many sunsets did I miss, how many sledding trips did I miss? How many times did I not slow down and savor life because I was so concerned with what was coming up ahead? When I move from where I am now, sometime off in the future, I want to be able to say I lived every day here completely and fully. My heart, however, will still be bruised from the fact my boys decided to grow up instead of staying little boys.

They're gone for 6 days. What in the world am I going to do with all the family sized everything in my kitchen?????