Pastor Awesome and Mrs Awesome came to our house tonight. We wanted them to pray over and bless our new home. It was a great time of fellowship and prayer. Part way through their visit I was hit with a stunning revelation. These people are the first pastors I have ever been around where I was completely comfortable! Don't get me wrong, the pastors of my past were some great men of God. None of them had horns, breathed fire, levitated, moved objects with their minds, were prone to wild fits of hysteria, none of them. There wasn't even a case of b.o. or bad breath that comes to mind, well, there was this one...... never mind. My point is I have been away from a certain place (some of you know where) for long enough that I no longer fear being dragged to the front of the church and having my mail read for the entire congregation. I have learned to trust again. For me, that is HUGE! I am finally in a place where I feel safe, safe to be who I am, safe to trust the man God has put over me is not going to annihilate me emotionally, simply put, I am safe.
I thank God he sent us to North Carolina. It's not been an easy road, I'm not going to lie, it's been tough in a lot of ways. However, I am now starting to see some wonderful benefits from our move. I am learning who I am, not who I could be, should be, or want to be, but who I am. It's important for us to move in the giftings the Father has given us. How can we do that if we are afraid to admit they are there? Knowing yourself, I believe, is a big step towards knowing God and how He wants you to live your life. Take me for instance, (since I'm the one writing, it seems only natural to use me as an example, live with it! lol) I am not a quiet person. Now, I know that comes as a shock to some of you, but hear me out. I love to laugh, I love even more to make other people laugh. I love to get excited, to shout, to sing, to live exuberantly! I believe it's one of my biggest strengths, but also, one of my biggest weaknesses. I find it hard, at times, to be as subdued as some situations call for. I have friends who are so sweet, really sweet, not fakey sweet. We all know people like that. They go through life with a sweet smile, never getting too upset, never really loosing their temper, staying steady and calm. The commander is like that. I, am soooo not. I can force myself, to a certain extent to take on an air of peaceful sweetness for a time, but sooner or later (usually sooner) my true colors show through. It has sometimes caused me trouble and I have wanted so badly to be one of the calm people in the world. I am who I am. I am who God made me. I have to do and be what he made me for, not anyone else.
Have you ever seen someone with colored contacts in? Your brown eyed co-worker shows up one day with stunningly blue eyes. It may be beautiful, but it's not real, it's an illusion. I believe we need to come to the place where we can look at our giftings, personality, intelligence, the list goes on and on, the same way we look at something as simple as the color of our eyes. I can love the fact my eyes are green. I can play it up with make-up or hair styles but I can't really take credit for it. It is what it is. I can put in blue contacts that make my eyes the color of a fall sky, but underneath, they're still green. I've only covered up what God has made me to be. That's the way it is when we are reluctant to admit to and develop the gifts and talents God has given us. We are only covering up what He has made, we're not actually changing anything. There's no reason to be proud of my green eyes, I had nothing to do with their coloring, just as I had nothing to do with the fact the Father blessed me with a good voice. I have hidden for years from my giftings, partly from fear of straying into pride, but partly from fear of not being worthy of them. Now that's just plain silly! Who has ever opened a present on Christmas morning only to turn and hand it back to the giver and say "I'm not worthy" or "I'm afraid I'll be too proud of it"?
We need to relax. There is a peace in being who you are, the authentic you, the you God made you to be, not the you you want to be, but the you you already are. If you are loud, be loud, be happy, spread your joy and sunshine. Slather it on everyone you meet. Don't be ashamed of it. If you're quieter, reserved, don't try to be anything else, it only comes across as stilted and forced. Spread your peace and quiet contentment to all you meet. If you can sing, then sing! If you can dance, then dance! If you can teach, teach or preach or witness or draw or paint, or write, or take pictures, or host someone in your home or whatever God has given you the ability to do. To take a phrase from popular media; Just Do It!
In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul writes of the gifts of the Spirit. The different gifts are given to different people in the body. He was speaking of spiritual gifts, but I believe this goes for gifts in the natural as well. The gifts are all different, but they come from the same spirit and for the same reason; to edify the body. How ridiculous would it be for someone to try to make their nose act as their ears? or their ears to act as their mouth? But that is what we do so many times. Each body needs it's ears to act as ears, it's eyes to act as eyes. Each spiritual body needs those who teach or sing or host or praise or vacuum or clean the bathrooms or run after the rug rats in the nursery. The eyes are so small in relation to the rest of the body, but can you imagine being without them? It may seem like a lowly job to clean the toilets at church, but can you imagine if there were no one to do it? Take joy in your purpose.
I am reminded of a children's movie I once saw called "Happy Feet". It was all about a small penguin blessed with the gift of dance but born into a flock of singing penguins. He struggled to fit in, to be accepted, but it was truly awful when he tried to sing. In the end, though, it was his unique gift that saved the entire flock from being wiped out and netted him the pretty girl penguin to boot. His feet were, indeed, happy. He couldn't sing, but he also couldn't not dance. That's where I want to be. I want to be so in tune with the Lord I can't not do what he created me to do nor be anything other than what he created me to be.
I am going to make it a point to start to thank God for me, for who I am, for who he made me to be. I will strive to not be ashamed of who I am, for I am in Him.
Now, the size of my thighs, that's a different matter. That's all my doing...........
Until next time stay,
Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor
No comments:
Post a Comment