The icing covered woman who walks with a limp

Home alone on a Sunday morning.

Why? You ask? It's a very long story, but it involves an injured knee, a harvest festival, a house that didn't get cleaned, a game that didn't get painted, and an assortment of other jobs that didn't get finished because I'm hobbling around at 1/4 speed of my normal rate. So, I find myself here alone while the others have all gone off to Sunday service. Sometimes, Sundays are indeed a time to rest. I figure if I stay home, move slowly through the list of things still to be done and take frequent breaks to put my knee up, I just might make it through this evenings festivities without ending up on crutches.

There was a time, in the not so distant past, I would have been unable to do this. Unable, not because anyone was standing over me with a whip, but because I would have been swamped with condemnation for missing service. Yes, I do miss going. I love attending our new church, God always meets me there, but I have finally realized I won't go to hell if I miss Sunday morning. He is a good God who understands our frailties and does not condemn us for them.

My break is over now and I've really got so much to do! There will be pictures later of all the fun and excitement. If you're in the area drop on by Church Alive and squeeze your way into the cake walk. I'll be the one with icing on my face!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

How a train left me incomplete

I'm tired, I just am. It matters not that I didn't get out of bed today till noon, only to go back to bed at 2:30 and sleep till 5pm. I was up at 6:30 with the puppy (THAT was not in the brochure). Then took Mumbles to wrestling practice only to be called back an hour later as apparently there were only 3 of us dumb enough to attend a Saturday morning practice. After a quick stop at Dunkin Donuts, a quick run around the yard for the pup, I was back in bed by 10am. So, you see, while there was a lot of sleeping going on today, it was broken sleep and everyone knows that's just not restful. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

This afternoon we headed for the North Carolina State Fair. That's all I've heard about for several weeks now. "Oooo! how wonderful the fair is!!! How glorious the fair is!! Have been to the fair yet? NO?! Well, your life is just not complete. yadda. yadda. yadda." So fearing that my life, would not, in fact, be complete, we headed that direction. Notice I said we headed to the fair, I never said we actually made it to the fair.

About 2 miles from the entrance we hit the traffic. We creeped along, stopping and going, never reaching 5 mph for what seemed like an enternity. We finally reached a point where we could see the fair. We could actually see it! We could smell the funnel cakes and hear the screams from the roller coaster. We had only one intersection to make our way through and we would reach our destination. Then it happened, the lights started flashing, the bells starting ringing and the cross bars over the railroad tracks started to lower. I could not believe a train was coming through! "But, oh, it's not so bad" I thought, "it's a passenger train and it's short!" Then when it had only 3 cars left to clear the intersection it came to a stop. A STOP!! It was 25 minutes later before we made it past that intersection and after a total of over an hour in traffic we had still not reached the entrance. When we did make it that far we found there was no parking within 2 miles! I guess we weren't the only ones with incomplete lives.

We left.

We headed to Red Robin instead.

After a Mai Tai I felt much better.

I'm not feeling incomplete. I'm just hoping that's not just the Mai Tai talking.

Funnel cakeless and tired,
Spokenfor

Surprise!!! Roadtrip!!!

Don't you just love fall? The colors, the smells, the cool, brisk mornings; I love it all! It's truly my favorite time of year.

This weekend, I went to the women's retreat with a group from church. I made some friends, had some fun, learned a lot, and got absolutely no sleep! It's a good thing this only happens once a year, I'm too old to do it more often!

The Commander and I, finally, were able to pull one over on the brothers. I had to leave Friday morning for the retreat, which, since it was a teachers workday, meant the boys would have been home alone all day. It wouldn't have been a problem for any of them except Scamp. I don't mind leaving him with them for short periods, but, since I'm a little attached to him and would just as soon he have all his digits upon my return, other plans had to be made for him. The adults hatched a plan! The commander took Friday off to, at least we told the boys, take care of them while I was gone. They were told they had to go to Surfer Dudes eye appointment and then would spend the day at a museum with their Dad. They were not happy about it. Mumbles complained that it wasn't even uniquely boring, it was "cliche boring"! lol Little did they know I was secretly at work!

Friday morning arrived bright and early and we got the brothers up before the sun. You should have heard them complain! We explained, in order to save money we had to make Surfer Dude's appointment in a town not exactly near us and they would have to drive a bit. So, we piled them all in the car and The Commander started driving south. They got all the way to the South Carolina border before they realized something was up. The eye appointment truly wasn't in town here, what they didn't know, was that it was back in our home town! I had packed them the night before while they slept and the Commander had sneaked the suitcases out the back door the next morning while they stumbled around half asleep. Museum, indeed! lol We showed them we may be old, but we've still got some tricks up our sleeves. We had already made plans for them to spend time with their friends and go to the High School football game. They were incredulous that we had pulled it off. I think I laughed all the way to the retreat! Needless to say, fun was, indeed, had by all.

I love doing things for my brood that I know will bring them joy. A trip to Georgia was cool, but a surprise trip to Georgia was even cooler. I think sometimes God does the same thing for us. We have times in our lives that are "less than cool", times we look at the future and see nothing but a day at a museum, when God has something much cooler planned for us. The joy I got out of doing this for my kids was enormous. God loves us so much more than we can love our kids.
Some of the attitudes in the days leading up to the trip were less than stellar. They were, shall we say, really crappy. (yes, I did just use that word, sometimes it's the only one that fits!) How many times do we have that type of attitude about what we perceive is in our future? Because our Heavenly Father loves us beyond words we have to trust whatever He brings into our lives is there for our good, even if we can't see it right away. I told the brothers to trust us, that they would have fun, that maybe they would be surprised at what a good time they had that day. They were considerably less than trusting. Mumbles even replied "Dad is just not the surprising kind". I nearly choked on my laughter when he said that.

We serve a surprising God. Do you think Mary and Martha were surprised when Christ raised Lazarus from the dead? When all looked hopeless, Jesus had something up his sleeve. Do you think the disciples were surprised when He fed the 5000 with just a few fish and loaves? How surprised were the disciples when Jesus rose from the grave? All had looked lost a few days before, darkness engulfed their world and hope was a scarce commodity, but a surprise was coming! God is a good God and everything that comes from Him is good, even if we can't see it right away. He is a surprising God! If you look in the word you will find time after time when He surprised His people. Abraham and Sara, now there's a surprise if ever there was one! Daniel in the lion's den, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendigo in the fiery furnace, another surprise. The disciples seem to be loosing hope and trust in him when the storm came up suddenly on the sea of Galilee, you might say it surprised them, but the biggest surprise was when Jesus came walking to them on the water, called one of them out of the boat, then climbed in there with them and calmed the sea. Do you really think they were expecting that? I'll bet if you asked them they would say it was worth going through the storm to have that experience with Him.

In the big things and in little things, God is a God of surprises. It still surprises and amazes me on a daily basis that He prefers me, He loves me, He sings over me. He delights in surprising His children. Sometimes it's a beautiful sunset, a bird singing by your window, an unexpected phone call from an old friend or even something as simple as your favorite candy bar on sale! ( I'm a firm believer that chocolate is, in fact, from God and will be prominently featured at the marriage supper of the lamb) So look around today, be aware, take time to acknowledge the little "surprises" He may plant in your way and just say "thanks". He delights in you, in me, in all His children. Trust in that, hope in that, revel in that.

What has God surprised you with lately? Share your story, we'd all love to hear it!

I'm going now. Unless God is going to surprise me with the gift of a laundry fairy, I've got to get busy around here!

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor

Holy Swiffer, Batman!!

I was looking around my house today, you know, the one I've only lived in for about 3 months. I was amazed at how many things I am already in the habit of overlooking; the marks on the wall by the couch, the dings in the wall from the furniture, the spot on the carpet in Scamp's room. You know, little things. I guess you could just say the house is finally beginning to look lived in. When I took a closer look I saw things that I had seen so many times I no longer saw them.

All this pondering led me down another road. How many things in our life do we live with just because we are so comfortable with them that we don't even really see them anymore? Are there things in my heart that are so obvious to others that I don't even see anymore? If someone pointed them out to me would I say "oh, yeah, that's been there forever! I'll get around to fixing it sooner or later"? Who and what am I really living with? We must be careful not to become so relaxed with the tenants who share our hearts that we fail to evict them just because we are comfortable. They don't really cause us that much trouble. That's what we tell ourselves. "Sure, I have a little unforgivness in here, but he's really no trouble at all. He just rents a small little room, a closet, really, and I never hear anything out of him". That's a dangerous place to be, folks. Like a termite, unforgivness will eat it's way into the walls of your heart, hardening them and making them impenetrable to the Holy Spirit. Do we let Anger park in our garage? Self-Pity have a room in the attic? Gossip camp out on the couch and has kitchen privileges?

Have you ever gotten your house ready to sell? As you start going from room to room you start to see your home through the eyes of others. Suddenly, things are looking a little different. What you thought was just cozy, you can see how others would perceive as cramped. What you see at shabby chic, others just see as shabby. So it is with our hearts. It's important to take time to do a heart check. David said in Psalm 139:23, "Search me, O God, and know my heart". Would our hearts look any different through the eyes of someone else, of the Lord? Would our "humbleness" be shown to actually be self-pity? Would our "righteous indignation" be reveled to just be plain anger? How about when we are "discerning the body"? Are we actually just plain ol gossiping?

I think it's time for some house cleaning in my heart. I try to remember the word says in Jeremiah 17:9 -" The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" I am going to spend some time asking the Lord to open my eyes to look at my heart the way He sees it. I've got a feeling it will be completely different from the way I see it.

I have a long habit of seeing things the way I want to see them. I'm afraid my children have inherited this trait. Yesterday, when Scamp got home from school, I asked him about his day. He informed me he was moved to the second discipline level during the day. (they go from 3 down to 1, the hope being we can stay on 3 all day!) When I asked him what he did, he said he really didn't remember, he might have said something to someone that wasn't nice, but he was sure he didn't mean it. Only 5 years old and already justifying and covering up his behavior. Sometimes I wonder why God made this child so beautiful and so charming all at the same time. It makes it really difficult to fuss at him when he flashes those blue eyes! lol

Unfortunately, there are no mini-maids or cleaning services for the soul. I've got to take things out, look at them, and take them to the Lord for a dunk in his cleansing blood. It washes away every stain, every blemish, every bit of grime and dust we gather as we walk here on earth.

I've got to go, now, my house needs a good cleaning. I wonder if the Bible mentions a Swifer for the soul????

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Room For Rent

A house with many rooms,
numerous people crowded in,
always opposing one another,
fighting battles none can win.

Anger's room is at hall's end
right across from Fear's domain.
Twins Depression and Despair live
around the corner, just below Insane.

Terror willingly abides throughout
while Shame welcomes all who enter.
Past Regrets controls everyone
with Grief serving as her mentor.

Happiness, Peace, Joy, Love
never darken porch nor door.
Broken Hearts overgrow the path,
Past Relationships litter the floor.

Till the Holy Spirit comes rushing in
bringing Christ's cleansing blood.
Evicting the darkness dwelling within
making all shine with the light of His love.

A Couch Full of Mashed Potatoes

I was going to write about procrastination, but I decided to do that later.

You wanna hear something slightly disturbing??? It's less than 3 months till Christmas! I have friends ( I use the word loosely as they make me look really bad!) who have already started their shopping. Every year I say I'm going to get started early, but I never do. My kids always end up with the hottest toy........... from last year! It's usually just about the only thing left by the time I get around to shopping the day before Christmas eve. This year, I decided to do things differently. So far, that is what I have done; decided to do things differently, not actually done anything differently.

On another note, I need some feedback, some advise, some borrowed wisdom, if you will. I have once again decided to enter the world of painting. Now, before you go envisioning canvases everywhere covered in amazing pieces of artwork worthy of any museum, let me clarify. I mean my dinning room. Gone are the days when I could have jumped in, cleaned and painted the room and had it all put back together in a morning. I'm old now, these things take time. Because it's a project that will, in all honesty, probably take the better part of a week, I want to get the color right the first time. Once I get color on the walls it's gonna stay for a while unless one of you guys wants to come up and repaint it! Should I go earthy with golden browns, tans, or greens, or should I go bold with something like a hunter green or maybe one raspberry wall? Maybe I should go light and airy (kind of like me) and choose a pastel. I'm not sure how my boys would react to the last option. Give me some help here, people! I admit to being a decorating wanna be so I depend on the insight of others to help with these difficult, life altering, mind blowing decisions. What's that? You say I need to get a life?? Tell me about it!

I'm thinking of starting to walk every morning again. I'm thinking about it, I haven't actually done it yet. I have a sister-in-law who just ran a 15K. She's awesome like that. Me? Not so much. She suggested I give running a try, said it would be great for me. I told her if I am running, it's because something is chasing me. I. don't. run. Have you ever heard that saying "it's hard to stop a train"? Well it would sort of apply here. Once you get this much bulk moving at any speed at all, it's no easy feat to stop it! There is another very good reason for this, my life's mantra. It's not because I wouldn't like to feel the freedom of running. I can see it now, I'm running through the woods on a perfect fall day, dressed in the latest running fashions, of course, wind blowing through my long, blonde hair. See me as I float along effortlessly while my little woodland friends, the birds, squirrels, and chipmonks cheer me on. I finish my 10 miles without breaking a sweat and arrive back home to my gorgeous husband meeting me on the back deck with a big glass of water and a light lunch he has prepared of salad greens and fresh fruit while surrounded by my perfect adoring children. Now fast forward into real life. That would be me in the stained sweats and t-shirt, soaking wet, huffing and puffing, after I've been chased by the neighbor's dog and laughed at by the neighborhood children, all while going to the mailbox and back. If I start running, it'll be because I'm running from my kids, or maybe I could start running from responsibility, or commitment. There's all kinds of things I could run from, all while not leaving my couch. I think I will keep with my exercise routine of jumping to conclusions and running my mouth and walking to the kitchen and back.

Today is Monday, start of a new week. Once again, the laundry is piled up, the house is a mess, and I sit here at my laptop happily ignoring it all.

What I really need around here is an adult to take care of the boring, important stuff. Anyone up for the job? I can pay you in unused exercise clothes and equipment.

Send your resume addressed to the couch potato. I'm sure I'll get it.

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Why You Should Always Lock Your Cabinets!

My kids are a constant source of joy in my life. Let me rephrase, I am always thankful for my children. Let me try that one more time, there are times when I tolerate the little people who came from my body and now reside in my house. Do you kids ever embarrass you? I think mine have it down to a fine art. After raising so many boys I've become immune to a lot of it. You know, the stuff like when they smack each other in public, or wear their jeans so baggy their underwear show. No problem, you're the one who looks foolish, not me! I can so handle those times. I'm talking about the moments you want to crawl under the carpet and pretend you never had time to procreate.

I remember one such time when Monkey Boy was about 5 years old. We were having some kind of party/family gathering at our house. We had about 40 people there. With so many people around, half of them extended family I was guilty of not watching him very closely as I figured if he started gushing blood or exploded into flames or threatened anyone with his pocket knife someone around would either handle it or let me know about it. It turns out, not so much. I was in the opposite end of the house, of course, when I heard a good bit of laughter coming from the living room. I remember smiling and thinking to myself what a wonderful hostess I was that people were having such a great time talking and laughing. While I was patting myself on the back, my 5 year old was, in fact, providing the entertainment. He came sauntering in the kitchen to ask for a drink. I looked down at him and suddenly understood why everyone was laughing. It seems he had gotten a scratch somehow and felt, as all 5 yr olds do, that it immediately deserved a band-aid and, being such a big boy, he would just handle that himself. The only problem with this line of thought was he couldn't reach them. However, being so ingenious, he discovered the perfect solution. There, in Mom's bathroom was a little bag under the sink with the biggest band-aids he had ever seen! Each one was folded and wrapped in it's own little wrapper. He thought "Mom's been holding out on me! She's saving all the really good band-aids for herself!". Being so proud of his discovery he had to remove his shirt so everyone could see how big he was with his really big band-aid, before he strolled through 40 people to find me. Imagine my horror upon seeing my cute little boy covered in maxi pads! People were laying on the floor laughing. There were those who needed oxygen and one uncle whom I thought was going to need a defibrillator! I have never lived this down, and neither has he. He's almost a teenager now and claims to have absolutely no memory of the event, but the red on his face whenever it comes up tells a different story!

I'm no stranger to such deeds as this either, albeit unintentional, so Monkey Boy comes by it naturally. I remember in Wyoming a time I wanted to crawl in a hole and pull it in over me. We had moved to a new house and found we needed a new cable for the tv to replace one that had broken during the move. So, one Saturday afternoon I headed out to the local Radio Shack to secure the needed tv watching supplies. I was so proud of myself because I had remember to bring the old one with me so I was sure to get the right kind. I entered a very crowded store and, after a little bit of a wait, was approached by a young man, who, if out of high school was not by much. When he asked me what I needed, I replied, "I need another one of these" as I so proudly whipped the broken cord from my purse. Unfortunately, little did I know it had become tangled around, you guessed it, a giant maxi pad! As I whipped (there really is no other word the way I did it) it from my purse the pad came flying out with it, hit a gentleman standing close by in the back of his bald head, and landed at the feet of the poor, confused teenager. I'll never forget the look on the face of the bald man as he turned around to find out what was being thrown at him. At that point I prayed God would just rapture me right out of there. I can tell the story now without dying of mortification, but it was touch and go there for a while!

I've sometimes wondered if God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit sit around and tell stories about their kids. I can hear it now, "remember the time....." and they all laugh. I'm sure, if that's true, I have supplied them with endless hours of material to talk about.

I guess if you can't laugh at yourself you'll spend too much time crying!

Excuse me now, I think I left the bathroom cabinets unlocked and I just remembered I now have another 5 year old in the house. I'd better go take care of that!

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor

Changing Your Mind and Unloading Your Wagon

There was a huge church picnic today. I have to admit, it was a little rough for me. My kids would say it was an "epic failure"! Oh, don't get me wrong, the picnic itself was great. The food was yummy, (even if there was not a drop of real sauce at this "bar-b-que"! must be a North Carolina thing!) and everyone was super nice. The weather was clear, although it was hot as blue blazes, but I, once again, succumbed to my insecurities and found myself sitting on the outside looking in. Maybe it was the fact that it was so hot, maybe it was the fact that I still don't know many people very well, maybe it was the fact I was tired, didn't like what I was wearing and my shoes were too tight. It could have been any number of things. That's what I like to tell myself, but, inside, I know better. Once again the little demons of "what if they don't like me?" and "they don't really want to know me" and "if I talk to someone I'll just say something stupid" reared their ugly head. You may know them, I know them well. I'm also getting a little tired of them telling me how to live my life. It's just, well, I know them. They've been around for as long as I can remember and I really can't imagine life without them, but I'd like to. I don't want, at the end of my life, to look back and realize I missed out on so much because of fear; fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking like a fool. I want to live life in a big way, the way I live it in my head.

I remember when I was young, you know, around the time of the dinosaurs, when the world should have been rife with possibilities. For me, it wasn't. There were, uuhh, how do I say this, certain restrictions put on me because of where we were in life as a family. Don't get me wrong, some very good things came out of the life we were living, but sometimes, I can't help but grieve for what could have been and never had a chance to be.

It was all complicated by the young man who destroyed my innocence when I was only 5 years old. He'll never know how what happened in that tool shed changed me inside. It took years for me to look at it clearly, to acknowledge the damage done to my little soul in only one afternoon. He left a deposit there that would remain for 30 years before God dug it out and threw it away. Complete healing, however, is a process. When you've spent 30 years acting and reacting a certain way, even after there's healing, there's the habits of living that have to be changed. We live as we think so, you could say, changing our mind is what is necessary. The Bible puts it another way; Romans 12:2 (amplified Bible)

²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

It's the renewing of our minds that changes us. The shame that followed me, the feeling of always being different, of being damaged somehow has been healed by God. I have been set free by his amazing grace, yet, I still find myself falling into the same habits and patterns of behavior. I believe, as my mind is changed, renewed, if you will, by his word, these habits and patterns will fall by the way side as well. However, I have an active part in it. There's something for me to do. I have to see them for what they are, outdated, no longer necessary self-preservation behaviors, and do something about it. I have to have my mind renewed, my thinking changed.

We've all seen the burger commercial where they spout the old saying "change is good". Well, change may be good, but it's seldom easy! Admittedly, it would just be easier to say "this is the way I am, the way I've always been, it's all I know". However, when God calls us into something new, we can rarely accomplish all He has for us if we are dragging tons of baggage He's already made a way for us to off-load. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little tired of dragging along a bag someone else packed for me. It gets exhausting in a hurry! God has broken the chains that bound it to me so I'm just gonna let it drop right here and start building a new outlook.

Take a good look at the picture at the top of this post. Do you really think that donkey is going anywhere fast? I think that is the way we look sometimes in the spiritual. We've allowed our wagon to get so loaded there's no way we can go anywhere! God says in Matthew 11:28 - 30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God's wagon will never tip you over with it's weight!

My goal this week will be to purposefully unload my wagon and work on changing my mind. My goal will also be to work on not purposefully changing my mind about unloading my wagon! lol I'm old, set in my ways, change doesn't come easy to me, but the potential rewards are luring me in. Look at the passage above. Notice anything in verse 29? It tells us the way to find peace is simply to learn of Him, "learn of me.....and ye shall find rest for your souls". I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some rest for my soul!

So, go learn of Him, it'll help unload your wagon.

Meanwhile, I find myself strangely craving oats with a side of hay.........

Soaked in His blessings,

Spokenfor