Friday, June 26, 2015

Flying Rats, Baseball Bats, and the Armor of God






Have you ever had one of those days?  You know, those kind of days when the coffee can is empty, the car won’t start, the kids are fighting and the dog is sick in the middle of the kitchen floor?  Yeah, one of those kind of days.  I have and, in fact, I had a doosey of a day last week.  It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  I have never been so glad to see the end of a day roll around as I was that day! 
Let me set the scene for you – Dinner is over.  The kids are all upstairs busy with various teenage/10 year old things. J and I are snuggled up on the couch watching our favorite show.  The dog is dozing at my feet.  The cat is dozing at the dog’s feet.  All is quiet, still, and right with the world.  I can finally take a deep breath and relax.  We have reached a rare state of peaceful nirvana in my home.  

And then……
(There always seems to be an “and then”.  Doesn’t there???)

Monkey boy wandered downstairs for sustenance as he was clearly on the brink of starvation having eaten at least 2 hours ago.  I heard him say “Hey! Who left the back door open??”  I roused myself from my semi-comatose state long enough for the fact the back door had been open to register on me and then returned to the very important work of watching tv.  

And then……

About 15 minutes after Monkey Boy had procured enough snacks to feed a small 3rd world country or at least keep him happy till morning, a visitor showed up.  It was not your average visitor, this visitor had wings, and little claws, and is known for drinking blood.  It was basically a flying rat, also known as a bat.  

Let the chaos and shrieking begin! 

My screams of pure terror quickly brought most of the man-children that inhabit the upstairs running down.  They thought it was awesome!!  Great fun!!  That is, until the thing flew towards them and then, they too, ended up doing a really impressive duck and cover while screaming like a little girl.  (where was my camera when I needed it?!?!)  To make things even more fun, it seems the little rodent on wings was attracted to sound so, as it flew overhead and someone screamed, it did this little dive bomb thing right at your head!  Things got out of hand in a hurry!

Mumbles picked up the vacuum cleaner and started swinging it in the air, not the long hose attachment, the entire, upright vacuum cleaner.  When I finally convinced him to put it down, he simply started punching at it like a prize fighter at the tail end of a 3-day binge – lots of wild flailing, but never actually coming close to making any kind of contact with anything other than himself!  Meanwhile, Monkey Boy had darted out to the garage and came back swinging, not one, but two aluminum baseball bats.  I was forced to stand at a distance and yell at him to put the bats down because there was no way I was getting close to that craziness!  At one point, the boys were standing in one doorway of the dining room yelling and J was standing in the other doorway yelling and the poor flying rat was just going around and around in a circle.  I’m sure at this point, nasty little Dracula wanna be was wishing he had never followed that little bug through my back door!  In a last ditch bid for freedom, it swooped past J’s head and flew through the kitchen.  Of course, we all followed, some of us a bit slower than others. When we all made it to the kitchen we were relieved to find it was gone. 



The crisis had passed.  As we stood around laughing, some of us still shaking just a bit, and talking about what had happened, it seemed we had come through the trial with flying colors.  We shut all the doors that had been left open to ensure the little nasty thing wouldn’t gain access to the house again.  I managed to get everyone calmed back down and we all headed off to bed.

And then…..

The next morning I woke up and headed downstairs like every other morning to get J’s coffee and breakfast.  Through half-closed, sleep drugged eyes I spotted a tiny mess on the kitchen floor.  I thought to myself “how did I miss the dog having an accident in the middle of all the chaos last night?”  I grabbed the disinfecting wipes and started the clean-up.  Imagine my surprise when, upon closer inspection, I saw it was not actually a mess made by my little white pup, but the head and what was left of one wing of our nocturnal visitor!  (give me a minute, it’s hard to type when I’m still shaking at the thought!)  I squealed and panicked  nearly lost my breakfast  came close to passing out calmly and quietly picked it up in a plastic baggie and put it somewhere safe.  Then, my heart sank.  No, that’s not right.  My heart jumped out of my body and ran out the door into traffic!  

The problem was, of the three cats and one dog in the house that night exactly none of them were up to date on their rabies shots.  (I know, I know!  My fault!!  Don’t write me nasty letters!)  The cats never set foot outside.  I would never have dreamed that outside would find its way inside! Now, my neglect had endangered the lives of every animal in the house.  Not only that, but if the bat was shown to be rabid, every person in the house would also have to be treated.  

I called animal control and the came and picked up the head.  The tech was very nice, but told me there was, in his opinion, not much chance there was enough left of the bat’s head to get a clean test.  If they couldn’t do a good test, it would be treated as an automatic positive and they would be back to collect every four-legged critter in the house.  

That was the beginning of one of the longest days of my life.  The hours seemed to drag by.  They moved slower than one of my boys on his way to empty the dishwasher! 

And then…..

Finally, at 4pm, the call came in.  Negative!  No rabies!!  We were in the clear and we celebrated long and loud.  

Frequent readers will know there is more to the story, there usually is! 

As I sat at the vet’s office the next day waiting for everyone to get their rabies shot (yes, I learned my lesson!), I pondered over what had happened.  There are some important lessons to be learned here.  Yes, one is most definitely to be careful not to leave the back door open and a case can be made for one lesson being to always be sure all the pets have their shots.  But there is another one as well. 
I made a mistake. I thought the cats were safe without their shots because they never went outside.  I didn’t think those shots were really necessary because the cats environment was so carefully controlled.  Sure, I knew it would probably be a good idea to go ahead and get those shots updated, but I thought I could handle it.  I thought I had it all under control.  I thought wrong.  

I can’t help but think about how often we do the same thing in our lives.  The word tells us in Ephesians 6 to put on the whole armor of God, not some of the armor, or part of the armor, but the whole armor. At times, we are quick to grab the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit.  Everyone knows the importance of these things.  It’s the other pieces, the seemingly “lesser” pieces that get over looked. We need that belt of truth whether we realize it or not.  The breastplate of righteousness helps us guard our hearts.  There is a reason why our feet need to be shod with the gospel of peace.  I know I need my walk to be covered with His peace!  But how many times do we make the same mistake with the armor of God that I made with the protection of my animals?  I thought I could handle things.  I thought that one little thing wasn’t really necessary.  I was wrong and it almost cost my family every pet in the house. Well, except for Monkey Boy’s rat, unfortunately. Give that thing wings and you’ve basically got another rat!!  But I digress….  

My point is, yes, I do actually have a point, is that unexpected things happen, but if we take care to do the things we know we should to protect ourselves, life will be that much easier.  There was no way for me to know that the sinister world of nature would find its way into my living room to become a midnight snack for one of my cats.  But I would have been sparred a day of anxious worry if I had done what I knew needed to be done ahead of time.  If we are careful to suit up in our armor daily, then when the enemy manages to throw something unexpected at us we are prepared and protected.  

So my challenge to you this week, my dear readers, is to suit up! Utilize all the tools the Lord has been so gracious to give us.  Be aware that, even when you least expect it, the outside will make its way inside sooner or later.  And when it does, you’d better have all your shots, eerr, I mean, you’d better have on all your armor!  

Until next time, I’ll be here attempting to restore the sanity in the house while guarding against all flying rodents, both big or small! 

Soaked in His blessings,
Spokenfor



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